Wednesday, June 17, 2009


If you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God. Matthew 5:23-24 (CEV)

Reconciliation is one of the most important words in my life. Once it dawns me that someone has something against me, it's hard for me to focus on what I am doing. I get so distracted by the thought that a person is not happy with me- by the way I act or say. It even progresses to tormenting my mind. Okay, I know it's also because of my issue with people pleasing. But, honestly, I also know it's part of me wanting to love others.

I am most hurt by those I love! I'm sure all will say the same. The torturing knowledge that a loved-one is angry with me can for sure paralyze my prayer life. It's hard to pray... hard to worship God in this condition. I desire for quick reconciliation, which is impossible at times because not everyone desires the same.

Most of the time, I initiate reconciliation. When the other person shuts me off... I cry. It hurts me. I want people to tell me what I've done wrong. I want to apologize. I want to heal broken relationship. I want to leave people alone if their reason for shutting me off is that they simply do not want me to be around them and to be friendly with them. I will cry for rejection but then I will be happy they were honest with me and I can start to move on!

Anyway, here are steps to work through to find possible reconciliation that I've learned.

1. Write or think of reasons for the estrangement.
2. Think through your motive for wanting reconciliation. God's motive is love.
3. Pray for this person to experience God's blessings.
4. Pray for yourself, for the power of the Holy Spirit to do what you must.
5. Start the process of letting go the hurt and anger.
6. Think through whether you can trust again, become vulnerable again, in order to grow an change.
7. Seek to forgive no matter who is most to blame in your opinion.
8. Shoulder your part of responsibility.
9. Swallow your pride, say, "I'm sorry."
10. Follow-up with acts of kindness and striving to restore trust.

If the other person refuses to go the distance with you, bless and let her go.

We should not think that we are fine praying or worshiping God when we don't make an effort to be reconciled with those we know are angry at us. There is no blessing whatsoever when we say, "She is ignoring me, she must be jealous of me because I have not done anything wrong!" We are all imperfect, we offend others unintentionally and intentionally... in both cases, we are to live a life of an ambassador of reconciliation... all for the GLORY OF GOD!

1 comment:

Gigie said...

Yes you are right! Thanks for the steps you gave ! enlightening!!