Yummy Sunday

What can be yummier than a chocolate fountain! My little girl gets excited every time we set this sweeeeet fountain but when it comes to eating time, she only eats marshmallows without chocolate coating! How funny is that! For me, there is nothing more deliciouso than chocolate coated banana or pineapple chunks!

Anger

Last week, I was angry. I was angry because my sincerity was questioned and my offer of sisterly love was turned down by someone who I truly wanted to consider me as her friend. And I'm sure I was angry because I felt rejected. My human nature wanted that I would indulge in angry bashing to even the score. It demanded me that I would go an-eye-for-an-eye-and-a-tooth-for-a-tooth with her. It needed me to hurt her back. I was angry! But thank God for this special occasion! It turned out to be the special time to know how I deal with anger.

I used to have issues on anger. When I got angry, I usually wouldn't stop talking until I mow people down with my hurtful words. It is by God's grace alone that I've learned to stop doing that. It was when He put me in a place where everything around just made me angry that He taught me to learn to be quiet and to pray instead. If I didn't learn that, I would have become an ugly duckling! No, seriously, God placed me to work for an angry ugly woman. She was always angry and she was super ugly! Being that I shared an office with her a year and a half, I became her anger target. I was hurt! So hurt I promised I didn't want to do it to others! She was so ugly I didn't want to become like her! She had a chronic hostile attitude on anything and on almost everyone. She was angry at the whole world. She was angry at God! But God has used her life to cultivate an important character in me... SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY!

I want to be beautiful and knowing how anger can make a person ugly and sickly, I pray that I become slow to become angry everyday. I feel sorry to see many angry and ugly women. They usually are the ones who are overly opinionated, loud and not happy. I feel for them and pray that God will begin to do a make-over in their lives, just as what He has done in me.

Here is a short test if what you have is a sinful anger or a righteous one...

1. Do you get angry most often about personal slights or over injustices against others?
2. Would your family members call you an angry person?
3. Would your family members say that you can't control your temper, that you tend to argue all the time, and that you lash out at the smallest criticism?
4. When someone offends you, does your response match the crime?

Little Self-Pity Party

I have been really tempted to hold a little self-pity party this past few days. It all started when I sent a text message to a friend (I thought she was) to ask her how she was doing. She had her baby through C-section about three weeks ago. I know how it is to be in that condition being that I went through the same process. I wanted to know if there's anything I could help her with and when we could come visit them to see the baby. She replied to my text saying that she would invite me once she sees the sincerity in me. I almost dropped! Well, my heart dropped, that's for sure! It hurt so bad. The worst thing was when I asked if she could tell me what I have done wrong, she just said that she'll tell me when the weather is good! I think she is being very mean! This was after all the letters, calls and gifts that I and my husband sent to her. And after the baby shower that I and other ladies had organized for her. We even tried to offer our baby furniture for them to use so they could save. Well, she was complaining about how tight they had been financially over the years. So we just wanted to help them out. But she turned down most of our offers. And that was fine. What's not fine was when she told me that all this while she hasn't seen any sincerity in me. It hurt! Not because it's true that I wasn't sincere but because my sincerity to her was also turned down. Yes, I finally realize it... it was a feeling of rejection. Oh, and that's the reason why it hurt so bad. I felt so rejected by someone I've been really trying to please!

I am just thankful that I was able to respond well to this effort to devastate me. Nice try, I would say. I am so grateful that I've learned to pray before doing anything important. After I got that text, I prayed and looked deep inside my heart of heart. I asked the Lord if I was being insincere to her. I looked for insincerity in me. The answer...

I admit I didn't like her since Day 3. On Day 1, I thought I found a really nice friend. Until she started gossiping about other women in our group and her own sisters. She also showed her true colors when she talked about the movies she liked, the kind of songs she sang, the books she read and when she said "God is not a 'demanding' kind of a god" to justify her worldliness. Day 2, I tried to gently and carefully stop her from gossiping and gently and carefully told her that I think God is pretty demanding of us to present ourselves to Him as holy vessels. But He, of course, gives us the Holy Spirit to have a freedom to live a holy life and full of joy. He demands that we become like Christ each day but is very patient and loving when we fail. Yes, He is very gracious to us and so we must not abuse that grace. Anyway, on Day 2, I could feel her distancing from me. So as I've said, on Day 3, I disliked her but I knew I had to respect and love her. I gave her space but reached out to her for love's sake when I got a chance. I know I've been sincerely reaching out to her. I would go past my not-so-good-feeling and love her just how God loves her. And I admit that my effort (by God's grace) to love her made a significant change in my heart. So sometimes, I wouldn't even feel that I didn't like her. No question about sincerity. I know that I've always been sincere.

I wrote about people pleasing, I think this instance is a perfect example. I've been putting a lot of work to please this girl. And I've not pleased her. She has rejected me and my sincere desire to be her friend. May God bless her. As for me, life must go on- pleasing God rather than man.

It Pays to Wait

I wrote about how I was at the edge of giving up with my desire to be a part of a certain team. And that I even started complaining but thankfully remembered that everything is beautiful in its time. Here is the link to what I wrote about waiting... Waiting

Anyway, the other day, the said team leader called me for a meeting with the whole team this coming Sunday. I am just glad I didn't give up and continued to wait upon God's perfect time.

Learn from the "Seasoned"

One of the blessings God has given me this year is the privilege to get to know and be close to the "seasoned" ladies at our new church. How I love these ladies! They are super sweet! Super godly women! I'm glad I decided to join their Bible study twice a month. It's such a great opportunity to learn from these women who have a long way in their relationship with the Lord. I treasure them all in my heart. I am very drawn to them, I think because my mother is some thousand miles away from me and I miss her.

Yesterday, after our Bible study, I invited most of them over to my house for lunch. I felt so honored to have them come and blessed me with their presence. For more of the story... Seasoned

God Owns our Children!

Rereading the account of Hannah has given me a ton of great lessons to learn. I can not understand this woman who could take a child she had nursed at her breast, swayed to sleep in her arms, watched as he took his first wobbly steps- and then put him in the care of a stranger, well, okay maybe not completely a stranger, releasing him to the plans of God! Only a woman desperately dependent on God.

As I seek to obey God, I have to understand the depth of the meaning that this child He gave me is ultimately His. I do not own my daughter. He does... and He has a purpose for her life. I can only be one of His main instruments to help show my daughter the way that leads to her life's uniquely designed purpose. I know that God doesn't have the capability of using a wrong instrument. There is a reason why I am my daughter's mother. God knew that Hannah would be the perfect mother for Samuel. He knew that she would train his very young heart to learn to listen and respond when he is called.

I don't know how other mothers train their babies to listen to them but this is what I do... I started talking to my daughter from the moment she was born. I made sure she looked at me. When she turned a year old, I started leaving her in the living room playing with her toys while I go take a quick shower. I would remind her to respond to me every time I call her name from the shower. It took her a few months to figure that out. She progressed from not responding at all to repeating what I said, like if I would say, "Izzy!" she'd also say "Izzy!" to finally say, "mommy, I am here." It was pure joy when one day she finally got it. I believe Hannah taught that to little Samuel. And that was Hannah's part in God's process of making her son a prophet. What an important role! As a mother, I received an important role to play in my daughter's life. That is also the reason why I want to be there for and with my daughter 24/7. I don't understand mothers leaving their babies in daycare centers 8/5. And I pray for these mothers.

Well, I don't really know how to end this entry. Some days, I just feel like it is super hard to become a good writer. Today is one of those days!

My Sweetie Pie

I was preparing our garden for the winter the other day. It was a perfect day for that because the weather was surprisingly warm. I pruned my roses and covered them with dried leaves. I don't like to see dried plants especially in the garden by our main door, so I cut them all off and threw them away. I worked hard that day while my little girl was running around. Then she came to me and put her little white arm around me and said with comforting voice, "Oh, Sweetie Pie!" I was so touched and shocked I laughed! Then she said, "Too loud, mommy." LOL! That's the cutest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Now, I am my two-year-old daughter's sweetie pie!

Today's Clean Laugh

*Elementary Motherhood*

Following are answers given by grade school-age children to the given questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch Tape is.
2. Think about it. It was the best way to get more people.
3. Mostly to clean the house.
4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic, plus super powers, and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We are related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

How did your mom meet your dad?
1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?
1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad is such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power because that's who you have to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
1. About 30 years.
2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't even have bread on them.

Describe the world's greatest mom?
1. She would be able to make broccoli taste like ice cream.
2. The greatest mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts.
3. She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

Is anything about your mom perfect?
1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
3. Just her children.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter -- then she would know my sister did it and not me.

Waiting

One thing that easily irritates me is when someone makes me wait. I do not have a lot of grace in waiting. And yes, I need it! I usually gets frustrated that I start complaining. Once I begin expressing my complains, the still small voice starts airing out it's message... "Everything is beautiful in its time. It's not about people failing you, it's about God using the circumstances to build your character." Oh, how easy it is to forget this profound truth and blame people for our disappointments.

Like now, it's been a few months since I started waiting for a go signal to become a part of one group that I've been wanting to join. When I first talk to the leader of this group, she showed so much excitement to have me in the team. But for a month, she didn't even bother to call me to discuss my intentions and when I can start. So I initiated a meeting with her so that we could talk about it. She still showed excitement to having me in the group. I made it sure she knows that I would wait for her call. It's been two months since our last talk. I heard nothing from her. We see each other once a week but she never brought it up. I didn't want to initiate a talk about it again because I was being clear to her on our last talk that I would wait for her go signal. I admit that I really think she is being very rude! And I admit that I started taking it against her. But God, in His grace, has taught me to be patient. To be still and know that He is God. To resist every temptation to become bitter against this person. It may be politically correct to hold it against her, but I chose to renew my mind. Instead of thinking that she is bad, bad, bad, I need to fill my mind with thoughts that the Lord is using this situation to build my character.

I love the fact that God is seldom in a hurry but He's never late! 1 Samuel 13:6-14 records the account of King Saul who lost his kingdom when he stopped waiting on God's time just five minutes before the deliverance. What a fool! I do not want to live like King Saul.

Dear God, help me to wait upon you and to not grow weary while waiting.