Thursday, September 10, 2009

Subsistence Living

No doubt Beth Moore is one of the excellent Apologetic teachers today. I had really enjoyed her devotional study called, A Heart Like His, when I did it some 5 years ago. Presently, I am learning so much from her 90 Days study of David. The pursuit to have a heart like God's has never ceased burning in me. The intensity of this fire may seem to fluctuate but it has never been quenched. David is one of my very favorite characters in the Bible. It is such a blessing to get a thorough study of his life from Beth Moore.

On our Ladies Bible study at church this week, we had one of Beth Moore's Extraordinary Women DVD's. The heart of her topic on that particular episode was on satisfaction. Here are the points she gave out that really spoke to my heart...

1. We are born needy people. We need food, clothing, shelter and etc.. We need to be loved and affirmed. Since we are born for satisfaction, we are going to look for something to satisfy us.

2. Psalm 6:5 shows that God can satisfy us. In fact, He is the only one who can give us real satisfaction.

3. So many women today settle on subsistence living. Subsistence living is the state of being supported through alms or remaining alive with a minimum of essentials.
They live with an empty cup in their hands and they go to people around them asking for alms of affirmation and love. And when the people they expect to give them what they need fail, they get so broken, helpless and frustrated... blaming the world for their emptiness.

This is so true! It is so easy to expect our husbands, children, parents, other family members and friends to fill our needs. We tend to perform and show off so that we get praised. Some tend to appear pitiful to get extra attention from others. The problem is that the more we expect and demand affirmation and love from others, the more frustrated we get.

4. Until we find satisfaction in Christ, we will wear others out with our needs.

5. We need to default coming to Christ every day with our empty cup and ask Him to fill us with His unfailing love. Only His is a love that never ever fails. In doing so, we won't live like beggars.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

P.M. Sing

I was fortunate I didn't really suffer P.M.S cramps since I started having my period in high school until before I had my daughter. The only thing I would feel during those times were extraordinary sleepiness. I would just sleep whenever I could and I was fine. I still feel that now. And cry. Or laugh. I don't know... for some reason, I become extremely sentimental or happy when I am P.M.Sing. Crabby? Well, I get crabby when I am starving. That's another story.

Someone I know gets super depressed when she was P.M.Sing. When I was with her, it was so difficult for me to get along with her. She wouldn't smile or talk... the worst thing was that she would stare at me like she was mad at me. I, of course, didn't understand her extreme mood swings. It was hard because she was the sweetest kind of person... she was very fun too. But when she is P.M.Sing she seemed to be a different person. Being that I didn't have issues other than sleepiness on my time of the month, it took me a while to understand her and to be a support to her rather than be offended. When I said this, I do not mean to say that I support her mood swings and that it is okay to be mean or depressed during this particular time. Because it is not okay...

When I am hungry or when I am craving for a certain food, I can get really grouchy... the target of it is usually my husband. I try to have "emergency food" in my purse. It is my effort to keep me sane during "hungry" times. I hate being crabby. I hate showing it to my husband. It is plain childishness. I want to mature. I want to be a blessing to my husband and to those around me. It is not okay to be crabby in front of my husband or others. When I am grumpy, I don't show the light of Jesus. This is not to say that I am just gonna hide the real me... my real feelings and etc.. But this is to say that the fruit of the Spirit called, self-control needs to manifest during this particular time. I strive to show positive attitude not only around others but also when I am alone... and this is very possible through the help of the Holy Spirit.

It is never my goal to make Paul and others tiptoe around me because they know that at certain times I am crabby. When accidentally I show my grouchiness in front of him and others, I have a responsibility to apologize for my behavior and not justify my action. I do not want people to say, "I understand. I know you are P.M.S.ing." No! P.M.S. (or hunger in my case), is never a justification to act childish... and there's never a legitimate reason to be childish. Is there? Again, I remind myself that my response (to any circumstances) is my responsibility.

Here are a few verses I like...

A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing. Proverbs 9:13

[It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. Proverbs 21:9

[It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. Proverbs 21:9

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mary, Mary...

For some reason, I could smell something fishy in most of the nursery rhymes. Somebody gave my daughter a huge Mother Goose nursery rhymes book when she was just born. But I have only read it to my little girl once or twice. I really didn't like the rhymes there. Some of them just don't make sense at all. Here is one example...

Rock-a-bye, baby,
In the tree top:
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall;
Down will come baby,
Cradle and all.

Why would I want my little girl to memorize that rhyme? Sounds awful to me. Imagine the baby falling to the ground?

I just learned that most nursery rhymes were actually created to criticize the royal family and the government in England long time ago. It was the people's way of expressing their complain of the corrupt ways of the government. Another example is...

Mary Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row.


The rhyme actually talks about Queen Mary's morbid ways. The garden was colloquialism of the graveyard where all of those tortured for disobeying her wishes were buried. Silver bells and cockle shells were colloquial of the instruments used to torture and kill the people. Abominable!

My husband mentioned to me before that the Foxe's Book of the Martyrs records the origin of the drink called, Bloody Mary. He said that its roots is traced way back during Queen Mary's reign. She was such a Catholic fanatic that she ordered all those who didn't believe in infant baptism to be tortured to death. There were, of course, people who didn't believe in it and most of them suffered and died. It is very sad.

Anyway, in our ladies Bible study at church last week, we were studying about how many of us, women, are like "Mary, Mary... quite contrary". We look so perfectly positive on the outside but deep inside us are jealousy, unforgiving spirit, hatred, pride, love of money, power and control, materialism, love for pleasures rather than love for God, selfishness, and etc.. The Bible says, "Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away." (2 Timothy 3:5)

Lord, help us to live a life that is pleasing to you. Search our hearts and forgive us of our contrary attitudes. Cleanse us from all unrighteousness and help us bear the fruit of the Spirit. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Opinion, Opinion!

What's wrong with being opinionated? We have a freedom of speech! And that said right doesn't only apply to males! Plus, we, women are naturally verbal! Yes, yes, yes... but don't you know that we also have a right called, "right to remain silent"?

While it is true that this modern world we are living in applauds a woman who is dressed with confidence in expressing herself through her opinions, it is also true that this kind of a woman doesn't necessarily agree with what God calls beautiful.

A bloviating woman is obnoxious. Who would be happy around a blabbermouth? And who would not feel trampled down around an opinionated woman? Expressing opinions is not wrong. What makes it wrong is when you do it to draw attention to yourself or to raise yourself above others. In other words, pride and selfishness! The Bible warns us that pride precedes destruction.

I speak from experience. I admit I have a tendency of using my opinions to lift myself above others. But thanks be to Christ who doesn't cease His work of perfecting me into His likeness by correcting, teaching and rebuking me through His Word. Now, every time I air my opinions, I ask myself this question first, "Is my opinion for the good of others? Is it pleasing to God?" If the answer is "no" I try to keep it to myself. Otherwise, I would be blowing my own trumpet.

I love this verse...

Matthew 6:2 says, " Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward."

Back to opinions... this is what I have learned in life... when we are young and we know only a little about life we love to have so many opinions and we can't stop talking about them. But when we mature and know so much about life we tend to get quieter.

My Response

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs in Nancy Leigh Demoss' radio talk show said, "Our response is our responsibility." How true! It is so easy for most of us to quickly put the blame on the other person when we feel offended. But, really, what the "other person" actually does is revealing the "reality" of our heart's condition.

When we are offended, we don't waste time to justify ourselves and our natural man quickly suggests we hit back. We think of ways we can get even. Our carnal mind is cunning. It is so good at forming creative weapon to retaliate. Oftentimes, this weapon is so creative that it would look like it is culturally and politically correct. But the mind that is constantly surrendered to the lordship of Jesus Christ functions on a different perspective. It says, "Ouch! That hurts. Does it hurt because it's true? I better do some self-examination." Instead of, "Ouch! That hurts. Here comes my vengeance!"

We are not responsible for the sin of others. What we are responsible for is our own actions. When someone wrongly accuses us, we won't get disciplined or punished for that person's sin. But we will get punished if we hit that person back out of anger or as a way of vengeance. We will certainly know the condition of our heart, whether it is meek or proud, through our response to a "challenging" circumstance.

It is important that whatever circumstances we are facing, we have to make up our mind, through the help of the Holy Spirit, to respond on a way that we know we are making God feel proud of us!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Meekness

I keep getting this word "meekness" in my brain these days. I think because I get tired watching women around me over-active, over-committed, over-talkative, and overwhelmed. Let's face it I am in a culture where everyone is just busy... and if they are not busy, they post this on Facebook, "I am bored!" In the cyberworld, I see many women busy bragging about what they are and what they have... busy talking about what my hubby calls, "trivial"... busy playing... busy airing their opinion in just about anything... busy becoming opinionated... busy justifying themselves... busy defending their rights... busy, busy, busy! I can not exclude myself from these women because at some point I fell into this obnoxiousness until God's Word rebuked me! Well, only on the area of being opinionated (to be fair with myself :0).

Listening to Nancy Leigh Demoss and Paul Washer describe a beautiful woman has inspired me more to cultivate a meek and quiet spirit in my life. I love to bask in the peace that comes with having a meek spirit!

What is meekness?

1. It is the opposite of the spirit that makes you show off your opinions on everything!

2. It causes wives to submit to their own husbands... it's the opposite of the spirit that makes a wife/mother nag endlessly!

3. It is the opposite of a manipulative spirit.

4. It's the ability to be quiet and wait.

5. It is the teachable spirit.

6. I think it is also waiting for people to praise you and not your own mouth!

I love this following verses...

1 Peter 3:3-4 "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Reconciliation

If you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God. Matthew 5:23-24 (CEV)

Reconciliation is one of the most important words in my life. Once it dawns me that someone has something against me, it's hard for me to focus on what I am doing. I get so distracted by the thought that a person is not happy with me- by the way I act or say. It even progresses to tormenting my mind. Okay, I know it's also because of my issue with people pleasing. But, honestly, I also know it's part of me wanting to love others.

I am most hurt by those I love! I'm sure all will say the same. The torturing knowledge that a loved-one is angry with me can for sure paralyze my prayer life. It's hard to pray... hard to worship God in this condition. I desire for quick reconciliation, which is impossible at times because not everyone desires the same.

Most of the time, I initiate reconciliation. When the other person shuts me off... I cry. It hurts me. I want people to tell me what I've done wrong. I want to apologize. I want to heal broken relationship. I want to leave people alone if their reason for shutting me off is that they simply do not want me to be around them and to be friendly with them. I will cry for rejection but then I will be happy they were honest with me and I can start to move on!

Anyway, here are steps to work through to find possible reconciliation that I've learned.

1. Write or think of reasons for the estrangement.
2. Think through your motive for wanting reconciliation. God's motive is love.
3. Pray for this person to experience God's blessings.
4. Pray for yourself, for the power of the Holy Spirit to do what you must.
5. Start the process of letting go the hurt and anger.
6. Think through whether you can trust again, become vulnerable again, in order to grow an change.
7. Seek to forgive no matter who is most to blame in your opinion.
8. Shoulder your part of responsibility.
9. Swallow your pride, say, "I'm sorry."
10. Follow-up with acts of kindness and striving to restore trust.

If the other person refuses to go the distance with you, bless and let her go.

We should not think that we are fine praying or worshiping God when we don't make an effort to be reconciled with those we know are angry at us. There is no blessing whatsoever when we say, "She is ignoring me, she must be jealous of me because I have not done anything wrong!" We are all imperfect, we offend others unintentionally and intentionally... in both cases, we are to live a life of an ambassador of reconciliation... all for the GLORY OF GOD!