Rereading the account of Hannah has given me a ton of great lessons to learn. I can not understand this woman who could take a child she had nursed at her breast, swayed to sleep in her arms, watched as he took his first wobbly steps- and then put him in the care of a stranger, well, okay maybe not completely a stranger, releasing him to the plans of God! Only a woman desperately dependent on God.
As I seek to obey God, I have to understand the depth of the meaning that this child He gave me is ultimately His. I do not own my daughter. He does... and He has a purpose for her life. I can only be one of His main instruments to help show my daughter the way that leads to her life's uniquely designed purpose. I know that God doesn't have the capability of using a wrong instrument. There is a reason why I am my daughter's mother. God knew that Hannah would be the perfect mother for Samuel. He knew that she would train his very young heart to learn to listen and respond when he is called.
I don't know how other mothers train their babies to listen to them but this is what I do... I started talking to my daughter from the moment she was born. I made sure she looked at me. When she turned a year old, I started leaving her in the living room playing with her toys while I go take a quick shower. I would remind her to respond to me every time I call her name from the shower. It took her a few months to figure that out. She progressed from not responding at all to repeating what I said, like if I would say, "Izzy!" she'd also say "Izzy!" to finally say, "mommy, I am here." It was pure joy when one day she finally got it. I believe Hannah taught that to little Samuel. And that was Hannah's part in God's process of making her son a prophet. What an important role! As a mother, I received an important role to play in my daughter's life. That is also the reason why I want to be there for and with my daughter 24/7. I don't understand mothers leaving their babies in daycare centers 8/5. And I pray for these mothers.
Well, I don't really know how to end this entry. Some days, I just feel like it is super hard to become a good writer. Today is one of those days!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
My Sweetie Pie
I was preparing our garden for the winter the other day. It was a perfect day for that because the weather was surprisingly warm. I pruned my roses and covered them with dried leaves. I don't like to see dried plants especially in the garden by our main door, so I cut them all off and threw them away. I worked hard that day while my little girl was running around. Then she came to me and put her little white arm around me and said with comforting voice, "Oh, Sweetie Pie!" I was so touched and shocked I laughed! Then she said, "Too loud, mommy." LOL! That's the cutest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Now, I am my two-year-old daughter's sweetie pie!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Today's Clean Laugh
*Elementary Motherhood*
Following are answers given by grade school-age children to the given questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch Tape is.
2. Think about it. It was the best way to get more people.
3. Mostly to clean the house.
4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic, plus super powers, and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We are related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
How did your mom meet your dad?
1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
What makes a real woman?
1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad is such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power because that's who you have to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
1. About 30 years.
2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't even have bread on them.
Describe the world's greatest mom?
1. She would be able to make broccoli taste like ice cream.
2. The greatest mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts.
3. She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.
Is anything about your mom perfect?
1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
3. Just her children.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter -- then she would know my sister did it and not me.
Following are answers given by grade school-age children to the given questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch Tape is.
2. Think about it. It was the best way to get more people.
3. Mostly to clean the house.
4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic, plus super powers, and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We are related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
How did your mom meet your dad?
1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
What makes a real woman?
1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad is such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power because that's who you have to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
1. About 30 years.
2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't even have bread on them.
Describe the world's greatest mom?
1. She would be able to make broccoli taste like ice cream.
2. The greatest mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts.
3. She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.
Is anything about your mom perfect?
1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
3. Just her children.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter -- then she would know my sister did it and not me.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Waiting
One thing that easily irritates me is when someone makes me wait. I do not have a lot of grace in waiting. And yes, I need it! I usually gets frustrated that I start complaining. Once I begin expressing my complains, the still small voice starts airing out it's message... "Everything is beautiful in its time. It's not about people failing you, it's about God using the circumstances to build your character." Oh, how easy it is to forget this profound truth and blame people for our disappointments.
Like now, it's been a few months since I started waiting for a go signal to become a part of one group that I've been wanting to join. When I first talk to the leader of this group, she showed so much excitement to have me in the team. But for a month, she didn't even bother to call me to discuss my intentions and when I can start. So I initiated a meeting with her so that we could talk about it. She still showed excitement to having me in the group. I made it sure she knows that I would wait for her call. It's been two months since our last talk. I heard nothing from her. We see each other once a week but she never brought it up. I didn't want to initiate a talk about it again because I was being clear to her on our last talk that I would wait for her go signal. I admit that I really think she is being very rude! And I admit that I started taking it against her. But God, in His grace, has taught me to be patient. To be still and know that He is God. To resist every temptation to become bitter against this person. It may be politically correct to hold it against her, but I chose to renew my mind. Instead of thinking that she is bad, bad, bad, I need to fill my mind with thoughts that the Lord is using this situation to build my character.
I love the fact that God is seldom in a hurry but He's never late! 1 Samuel 13:6-14 records the account of King Saul who lost his kingdom when he stopped waiting on God's time just five minutes before the deliverance. What a fool! I do not want to live like King Saul.
Dear God, help me to wait upon you and to not grow weary while waiting.
Like now, it's been a few months since I started waiting for a go signal to become a part of one group that I've been wanting to join. When I first talk to the leader of this group, she showed so much excitement to have me in the team. But for a month, she didn't even bother to call me to discuss my intentions and when I can start. So I initiated a meeting with her so that we could talk about it. She still showed excitement to having me in the group. I made it sure she knows that I would wait for her call. It's been two months since our last talk. I heard nothing from her. We see each other once a week but she never brought it up. I didn't want to initiate a talk about it again because I was being clear to her on our last talk that I would wait for her go signal. I admit that I really think she is being very rude! And I admit that I started taking it against her. But God, in His grace, has taught me to be patient. To be still and know that He is God. To resist every temptation to become bitter against this person. It may be politically correct to hold it against her, but I chose to renew my mind. Instead of thinking that she is bad, bad, bad, I need to fill my mind with thoughts that the Lord is using this situation to build my character.
I love the fact that God is seldom in a hurry but He's never late! 1 Samuel 13:6-14 records the account of King Saul who lost his kingdom when he stopped waiting on God's time just five minutes before the deliverance. What a fool! I do not want to live like King Saul.
Dear God, help me to wait upon you and to not grow weary while waiting.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Hannah
I found it really interesting that I keep bumping into anything about Hannah this time. Nearly a month ago, I revisited the account of Hannah in the Bible and was very inspired by what I've learned about her life. Her devotion to the Lord and the way she responded to her circumstances were surely praiseworthy. Looking at her life, for the first time, I had to face the reality that I came short of my responsibility to be a strong support to two of my very good friends who faced barrenness. The story of Hannah has opened my eyes to see and feel what my friends went through.
Anyway, this morning I was listening to Janet Parshall from the internet. She delivered this message at the True Women Conference with Nancy Leigh Demoss in Chicago recently. I was really hoping I could attend the conference but I couldn't leave my 2-year old daughter at home because I am still nursing her. But anyway, I was so surprised when Janet Parshall talked about... Guess who? Hannah! God is bringing it up again to me! I am so excited to know why He wants me to learn about Hannah's life.
Here is the link to Janet Parshall's message...
http://www.truewoman.com/assets/files/mp3/session-05.mp3
Anyway, this morning I was listening to Janet Parshall from the internet. She delivered this message at the True Women Conference with Nancy Leigh Demoss in Chicago recently. I was really hoping I could attend the conference but I couldn't leave my 2-year old daughter at home because I am still nursing her. But anyway, I was so surprised when Janet Parshall talked about... Guess who? Hannah! God is bringing it up again to me! I am so excited to know why He wants me to learn about Hannah's life.
Here is the link to Janet Parshall's message...
http://www.truewoman.com/assets/files/mp3/session-05.mp3
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Imeldific
At Word Spy, imeldific means ostentatiously extravagant to the point of vulgarity. The word was coined after the name of Imelda Marcos, the wife of the late President Ferdinand Marcos of the Philippines, who was known to be a shoe collector extraordinaire. Are you imeldific?
In my other blog, I've blogged about how as a little girl I dreamed of living in America. And that it was also a dream of every girl I knew. I never thought God has already orchestrated a plan for me to be here. As a little girl in a family who literally trusted God to provide for our every meal, I would imagine myself living in a big American house with a huge kitchen that has a huge fridge filled with food! Food was just everything for me growing up. It's not that I was a big eater, it's just that there was scarcity of food at our house. As I grew older, my imagination shifted from food to fashion. Undoubtedly, it was inspired by reading many western fashion mags. I so wanted to be in America! With a wrong reason- fashion! After I graduated in College and got to earn my own money, I was immersed into fashion. I bought too many clothes, purses and shoes. The measure of generosity that I used to give to church and bless the poor was the same amount I gave to the fashion industry. Something extraordinary happened between my fashion collection time and the time when God called me to serve Him in Mongolia.
I left my job and grabbed a scholarship at a short-term mission school. That decision had left me with nothing to spend on clothes and shoes. Worst of all, actually I should say best of all, I had to travel around the Philippines to raise my funds for two years before I was deployed to Mongolia. That two years had definitely made an impact in my life. My appetite for fashion had gradually disappeared. I was too excited to fulfill my dream. This time, my dream to live in the remotest place in the world- Mongolia! Living in Mongolia tempted me to resurrect my desire for fashion. Girls in this country were so fashion wired! Paris is part of their system. A friend of mine earned $60 a month but had a few $300 coats and a few $200 pairs of boots! I knew something was drastically changed in me when I would refuse to buy even a single leather coat. I was so happy and content with my chocolate brown winter coat that was donated to me by a friend in Canada. I was happy with a few clothes. I've changed! The Lord changed me!
Then I met the guy who I married later. When he proposed, he promised he would buy me every pair of shoes and every purse I want without even asking him that. Of course, I gave him my big YES. Hahaha! No, it wasn't for that reason, of course. When I came to America, I came to a big house with a big kitchen that has a big fridge filled with food! The house has spacious closets ready to embrace my big clothes, shoes and purse collection. And yes, I admit the closets are filled with my stuff now.
Now, am I imeldific? NO! Look, if you have stores that sell Steve Madden shoes, Coach purses and Express clothes for $7 each, wouldn't you go and fill your closets and look imeldific but spend barely a hundred dollars? I love treasure hunting at Consignment stores! When I say treasure hunting I mean looking for brand new stuff in a generally used items sold in them. They've got to have the tags attached in them. It's fun! But I still have to be careful because I could easily become materialistic even if I would only shop at these kind of stores. Keeping a budget and sticking to it really helps. I always try to buy my clothes and accessories in cash. But anyway, materialism is really a matter of the heart. And I know that by God's grace, it really doesn't matter to me anymore if I only have a pair of shoes. Oh, wait, no... it's impossible to have just a pair of shoes here. I've got to have 4 pairs, one for each season. So really what I was just trying to say is that I know that deep in my heart there is no imeldific struggle. And I so thank God for bringing that change in my life.
In my other blog, I've blogged about how as a little girl I dreamed of living in America. And that it was also a dream of every girl I knew. I never thought God has already orchestrated a plan for me to be here. As a little girl in a family who literally trusted God to provide for our every meal, I would imagine myself living in a big American house with a huge kitchen that has a huge fridge filled with food! Food was just everything for me growing up. It's not that I was a big eater, it's just that there was scarcity of food at our house. As I grew older, my imagination shifted from food to fashion. Undoubtedly, it was inspired by reading many western fashion mags. I so wanted to be in America! With a wrong reason- fashion! After I graduated in College and got to earn my own money, I was immersed into fashion. I bought too many clothes, purses and shoes. The measure of generosity that I used to give to church and bless the poor was the same amount I gave to the fashion industry. Something extraordinary happened between my fashion collection time and the time when God called me to serve Him in Mongolia.
I left my job and grabbed a scholarship at a short-term mission school. That decision had left me with nothing to spend on clothes and shoes. Worst of all, actually I should say best of all, I had to travel around the Philippines to raise my funds for two years before I was deployed to Mongolia. That two years had definitely made an impact in my life. My appetite for fashion had gradually disappeared. I was too excited to fulfill my dream. This time, my dream to live in the remotest place in the world- Mongolia! Living in Mongolia tempted me to resurrect my desire for fashion. Girls in this country were so fashion wired! Paris is part of their system. A friend of mine earned $60 a month but had a few $300 coats and a few $200 pairs of boots! I knew something was drastically changed in me when I would refuse to buy even a single leather coat. I was so happy and content with my chocolate brown winter coat that was donated to me by a friend in Canada. I was happy with a few clothes. I've changed! The Lord changed me!
Then I met the guy who I married later. When he proposed, he promised he would buy me every pair of shoes and every purse I want without even asking him that. Of course, I gave him my big YES. Hahaha! No, it wasn't for that reason, of course. When I came to America, I came to a big house with a big kitchen that has a big fridge filled with food! The house has spacious closets ready to embrace my big clothes, shoes and purse collection. And yes, I admit the closets are filled with my stuff now.
Now, am I imeldific? NO! Look, if you have stores that sell Steve Madden shoes, Coach purses and Express clothes for $7 each, wouldn't you go and fill your closets and look imeldific but spend barely a hundred dollars? I love treasure hunting at Consignment stores! When I say treasure hunting I mean looking for brand new stuff in a generally used items sold in them. They've got to have the tags attached in them. It's fun! But I still have to be careful because I could easily become materialistic even if I would only shop at these kind of stores. Keeping a budget and sticking to it really helps. I always try to buy my clothes and accessories in cash. But anyway, materialism is really a matter of the heart. And I know that by God's grace, it really doesn't matter to me anymore if I only have a pair of shoes. Oh, wait, no... it's impossible to have just a pair of shoes here. I've got to have 4 pairs, one for each season. So really what I was just trying to say is that I know that deep in my heart there is no imeldific struggle. And I so thank God for bringing that change in my life.
Here, showing you a few of my shoe collection.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
People Pleasing
The modern culture has paved the way for a maximized people pleasing. Sadly enough, not many women realize that people pleasing brings debilitating repercussions. Those who basically made it a career suffer uncontrollable lying, unhappiness, envy and increasing discontentment that eventually lead to the big D, called Depression. People pleasing is like a cancer that slowly contaminates and eats up a woman's healthy system. Some women display it more obvious than others. Let's talk about how "others" do people pleasing.
"Others" had a party to go with a friend. They went shopping for party dresses. Her friend says, "I think this dress would be beautiful on me! What do you think?" "Others" replies, "Oh, absolutely!" but thinks the dress was ugly! Lying in its simplest form! One lie leads to another lie and another and another... Before you know it, you have already became one big fat liar.
We naturally love to be loved. Most women love simply because they want to be loved back. They work so hard to be noticed and praised. Fail to notice and praise them and you would be dealing with a crabby woman. We all want to be loved but it is entirely a different thing if that becomes our motivation to love others because it is called the other half of selfishness.
We have covered "Others" issue. Now I'll talk, wait... I mean write about those women who show people pleasing obviously. You'll know it when you go to profiles in Facebook, Hi5, Friendster, Blogger and other social network websites you will see long descriptions of themselves. They would write even the most bizzare poem to try to describe their personality. They would write all of their known (and out-of-this-world) past and present credentials and affiliations. The only message I get when reading these kinds of profiles is... "You've got to like me!"
Another form of sophisticated people pleasing is "Don't judge!". Many women today believe the idea that we are not suppose to judge. "Judge" as in identifying wrong from right. "Judge" as in to evaluate others and draw conclusions about them. Oh, I think I know where they got the idea, it's from Matthew 7:1. But I wish they would read the following verse because that would make a difference. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (NIV) Matthew 7:1-2. Another verse says, "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." (NIV) John 7:24 There is one common denominator here and that is that we judge only with righteous judgment. I think that this "don't judge" thing is a scape goat for women who do not want to offend others. These are women who are afraid to make a stand that homosexuality, gossipping, obsessive shopping, being attached to Oprah's shows, drunkenness, boastfullness, worldliness and etc. are wrong! They simply just don't want to make a stand because their reputation is at stake. Tolerance to sin has been increasingly permeated into the Christian community because of this don't-judge thing. It is sad!
When we seek to please others, we are focus on ourselves which is also called selfcenteredness. But when we seek to please God, we are focus on Him. Whose pleasure do we want to have, of God or of man? Pleasing God brings blessings. Pleasing man brings frustrations. Who are you seeking to please now?
"Others" had a party to go with a friend. They went shopping for party dresses. Her friend says, "I think this dress would be beautiful on me! What do you think?" "Others" replies, "Oh, absolutely!" but thinks the dress was ugly! Lying in its simplest form! One lie leads to another lie and another and another... Before you know it, you have already became one big fat liar.
We naturally love to be loved. Most women love simply because they want to be loved back. They work so hard to be noticed and praised. Fail to notice and praise them and you would be dealing with a crabby woman. We all want to be loved but it is entirely a different thing if that becomes our motivation to love others because it is called the other half of selfishness.
We have covered "Others" issue. Now I'll talk, wait... I mean write about those women who show people pleasing obviously. You'll know it when you go to profiles in Facebook, Hi5, Friendster, Blogger and other social network websites you will see long descriptions of themselves. They would write even the most bizzare poem to try to describe their personality. They would write all of their known (and out-of-this-world) past and present credentials and affiliations. The only message I get when reading these kinds of profiles is... "You've got to like me!"
Another form of sophisticated people pleasing is "Don't judge!". Many women today believe the idea that we are not suppose to judge. "Judge" as in identifying wrong from right. "Judge" as in to evaluate others and draw conclusions about them. Oh, I think I know where they got the idea, it's from Matthew 7:1. But I wish they would read the following verse because that would make a difference. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (NIV) Matthew 7:1-2. Another verse says, "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." (NIV) John 7:24 There is one common denominator here and that is that we judge only with righteous judgment. I think that this "don't judge" thing is a scape goat for women who do not want to offend others. These are women who are afraid to make a stand that homosexuality, gossipping, obsessive shopping, being attached to Oprah's shows, drunkenness, boastfullness, worldliness and etc. are wrong! They simply just don't want to make a stand because their reputation is at stake. Tolerance to sin has been increasingly permeated into the Christian community because of this don't-judge thing. It is sad!
When we seek to please others, we are focus on ourselves which is also called selfcenteredness. But when we seek to please God, we are focus on Him. Whose pleasure do we want to have, of God or of man? Pleasing God brings blessings. Pleasing man brings frustrations. Who are you seeking to please now?
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