Woman Thing

Stress-free

2011-07-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

Oftentimes, as women we get so stressed out by expecting too much from our ourselves and beyond what we can handle. Most stresses in life can sure be avoided. We need to surround ourselves with honest, loving and godly friends. Also, we need to give ourselves a time to be vulnerable.

Sometimes, we lose our true friends because we show ourselves to be self-sufficient... and that we don't need anybody. Yes, we do! There is a need for every woman to show vulnerability, so the grace of God and the love from people flow in to strengthen us. This is something that the Lord had to deal with me over the years. I was a proud and a very self-sufficient woman. I had the "girl power" thing! But the Lord had to "demolish" that girl power thing. True freedom and blessings came when I finally surrender it and admit my vulnerability. I had to strip off my "super woman" mask and showed who I really am... a person needing God's grace and people's love. It is the key for my very successful marriage, the first step for my becoming a wife who submits herself to my husband and a mother who doesn't hesitate to show tears to her daughter and explains why. I am no longer afraid of showing my vulnerability because I am free. I do not need to perform to be hailed as a great woman. I do not need it. And the more I grow in this area, I have developed great friendships. Friends that would die for me, if needed, including a husband.

Parenting

2010-01-21T09:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, so we all have girl friends who are close to us. Some of them become as close as our own sisters. What do you feel when your very close girl friend basically "parent" your child in front of you? I would feel uncomfortable. In fact, very uncomfortable!

See, I'm not a perfect person but I don't do that. I don't teach/correct/instruct/rebuke a child in front of his/her mom or dad... yes, if the parents didn't ask me. Simple... it's not right. Doing that is putting the parents in an "embarrassing" hot zone. In other words, it's rude.

Unfortunately, two of my friends did that sort of thing to my daughter on a separate occasion this past two weeks. I was stunned! I could not say anything. I was kind of hurt. And I can't take it away from my mind. What do I do?

In my FB today

2009-10-20T16:36:00.000-07:00

Me As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. Proverbs 11:22
19 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Marcia Martens
Funny you posted this, a friend of mine did just a few days ago asking for interpretation of it. So how do you interpret this verse?
18 minutes ago · Delete

Me
What at coincidence! Anyway, I am listening to my audio Bible and I was tickled when this was narrated. I think it's a funny picture. Anyway, pigs were considered unclean animals in the old testament and even with a gold ring on its nose, they still stink. Similarly, nice expensive clothes, jewelry and make up won't cover a wicked woman's heart. No... Read More beautification regimen can cover a stinky heart attitude. No social grace in this world can replace the beauty of the wisdom in a woman who fears and love the Lord... one whose heart is redeemed and surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
2 minutes ago · Delete

Subsistence Living

2009-09-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

No doubt Beth Moore is one of the excellent Apologetic teachers today. I had really enjoyed her devotional study called, A Heart Like His, when I did it some 5 years ago. Presently, I am learning so much from her 90 Days study of David. The pursuit to have a heart like God's has never ceased burning in me. The intensity of this fire may seem to fluctuate but it has never been quenched. David is one of my very favorite characters in the Bible. It is such a blessing to get a thorough study of his life from Beth Moore.

On our Ladies Bible study at church this week, we had one of Beth Moore's Extraordinary Women DVD's. The heart of her topic on that particular episode was on satisfaction. Here are the points she gave out that really spoke to my heart...

1. We are born needy people. We need food, clothing, shelter and etc.. We need to be loved and affirmed. Since we are born for satisfaction, we are going to look for something to satisfy us.

2. Psalm 6:5 shows that God can satisfy us. In fact, He is the only one who can give us real satisfaction.

3. So many women today settle on subsistence living. Subsistence living is the state of being supported through alms or remaining alive with a minimum of essentials.
They live with an empty cup in their hands and they go to people around them asking for alms of affirmation and love. And when the people they expect to give them what they need fail, they get so broken, helpless and frustrated... blaming the world for their emptiness.

This is so true! It is so easy to expect our husbands, children, parents, other family members and friends to fill our needs. We tend to perform and show off so that we get praised. Some tend to appear pitiful to get extra attention from others. The problem is that the more we expect and demand affirmation and love from others, the more frustrated we get.

4. Until we find satisfaction in Christ, we will wear others out with our needs.

5. We need to default coming to Christ every day with our empty cup and ask Him to fill us with His unfailing love. Only His is a love that never ever fails. In doing so, we won't live like beggars.

P.M. Sing

2009-07-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate I didn't really suffer P.M.S cramps since I started having my period in high school until before I had my daughter. The only thing I would feel during those times were extraordinary sleepiness. I would just sleep whenever I could and I was fine. I still feel that now. And cry. Or laugh. I don't know... for some reason, I become extremely sentimental or happy when I am P.M.Sing. Crabby? Well, I get crabby when I am starving. That's another story.

Someone I know gets super depressed when she was P.M.Sing. When I was with her, it was so difficult for me to get along with her. She wouldn't smile or talk... the worst thing was that she would stare at me like she was mad at me. I, of course, didn't understand her extreme mood swings. It was hard because she was the sweetest kind of person... she was very fun too. But when she is P.M.Sing she seemed to be a different person. Being that I didn't have issues other than sleepiness on my time of the month, it took me a while to understand her and to be a support to her rather than be offended. When I said this, I do not mean to say that I support her mood swings and that it is okay to be mean or depressed during this particular time. Because it is not okay...

When I am hungry or when I am craving for a certain food, I can get really grouchy... the target of it is usually my husband. I try to have "emergency food" in my purse. It is my effort to keep me sane during "hungry" times. I hate being crabby. I hate showing it to my husband. It is plain childishness. I want to mature. I want to be a blessing to my husband and to those around me. It is not okay to be crabby in front of my husband or others. When I am grumpy, I don't show the light of Jesus. This is not to say that I am just gonna hide the real me... my real feelings and etc.. But this is to say that the fruit of the Spirit called, self-control needs to manifest during this particular time. I strive to show positive attitude not only around others but also when I am alone... and this is very possible through the help of the Holy Spirit.

It is never my goal to make Paul and others tiptoe around me because they know that at certain times I am crabby. When accidentally I show my grouchiness in front of him and others, I have a responsibility to apologize for my behavior and not justify my action. I do not want people to say, "I understand. I know you are P.M.S.ing." No! P.M.S. (or hunger in my case), is never a justification to act childish... and there's never a legitimate reason to be childish. Is there? Again, I remind myself that my response (to any circumstances) is my responsibility.

Here are a few verses I like...

A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing. Proverbs 9:13

[It is] better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. Proverbs 21:9

[It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. Proverbs 21:9

Mary, Mary...

2009-07-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I could smell something fishy in most of the nursery rhymes. Somebody gave my daughter a huge Mother Goose nursery rhymes book when she was just born. But I have only read it to my little girl once or twice. I really didn't like the rhymes there. Some of them just don't make sense at all. Here is one example...

Rock-a-bye, baby,
In the tree top:
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall;
Down will come baby,
Cradle and all.

Why would I want my little girl to memorize that rhyme? Sounds awful to me. Imagine the baby falling to the ground?

I just learned that most nursery rhymes were actually created to criticize the royal family and the government in England long time ago. It was the people's way of expressing their complain of the corrupt ways of the government. Another example is...

Mary Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row.

The rhyme actually talks about Queen Mary's morbid ways. The garden was colloquialism of the graveyard where all of those tortured for disobeying her wishes were buried. Silver bells and cockle shells were colloquial of the instruments used to torture and kill the people. Abominable!

My husband mentioned to me before that the Foxe's Book of the Martyrs records the origin of the drink called, Bloody Mary. He said that its roots is traced way back during Queen Mary's reign. She was such a Catholic fanatic that she ordered all those who didn't believe in infant baptism to be tortured to death. There were, of course, people who didn't believe in it and most of them suffered and died. It is very sad.

Anyway, in our ladies Bible study at church last week, we were studying about how many of us, women, are like "Mary, Mary... quite contrary". We look so perfectly positive on the outside but deep inside us are jealousy, unforgiving spirit, hatred, pride, love of money, power and control, materialism, love for pleasures rather than love for God, selfishness, and etc.. The Bible says, "Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away." (2 Timothy 3:5)

Lord, help us to live a life that is pleasing to you. Search our hearts and forgive us of our contrary attitudes. Cleanse us from all unrighteousness and help us bear the fruit of the Spirit. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen.

Opinion, Opinion!

2009-07-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

What's wrong with being opinionated? We have a freedom of speech! And that said right doesn't only apply to males! Plus, we, women are naturally verbal! Yes, yes, yes... but don't you know that we also have a right called, "right to remain silent"?

While it is true that this modern world we are living in applauds a woman who is dressed with confidence in expressing herself through her opinions, it is also true that this kind of a woman doesn't necessarily agree with what God calls beautiful.

A bloviating woman is obnoxious. Who would be happy around a blabbermouth? And who would not feel trampled down around an opinionated woman? Expressing opinions is not wrong. What makes it wrong is when you do it to draw attention to yourself or to raise yourself above others. In other words, pride and selfishness! The Bible warns us that pride precedes destruction.

I speak from experience. I admit I have a tendency of using my opinions to lift myself above others. But thanks be to Christ who doesn't cease His work of perfecting me into His likeness by correcting, teaching and rebuking me through His Word. Now, every time I air my opinions, I ask myself this question first, "Is my opinion for the good of others? Is it pleasing to God?" If the answer is "no" I try to keep it to myself. Otherwise, I would be blowing my own trumpet.

I love this verse...

Matthew 6:2 says, " Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward."

Back to opinions... this is what I have learned in life... when we are young and we know only a little about life we love to have so many opinions and we can't stop talking about them. But when we mature and know so much about life we tend to get quieter.

My Response

2009-07-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs in Nancy Leigh Demoss' radio talk show said, "Our response is our responsibility." How true! It is so easy for most of us to quickly put the blame on the other person when we feel offended. But, really, what the "other person" actually does is revealing the "reality" of our heart's condition.

When we are offended, we don't waste time to justify ourselves and our natural man quickly suggests we hit back. We think of ways we can get even. Our carnal mind is cunning. It is so good at forming creative weapon to retaliate. Oftentimes, this weapon is so creative that it would look like it is culturally and politically correct. But the mind that is constantly surrendered to the lordship of Jesus Christ functions on a different perspective. It says, "Ouch! That hurts. Does it hurt because it's true? I better do some self-examination." Instead of, "Ouch! That hurts. Here comes my vengeance!"

We are not responsible for the sin of others. What we are responsible for is our own actions. When someone wrongly accuses us, we won't get disciplined or punished for that person's sin. But we will get punished if we hit that person back out of anger or as a way of vengeance. We will certainly know the condition of our heart, whether it is meek or proud, through our response to a "challenging" circumstance.

It is important that whatever circumstances we are facing, we have to make up our mind, through the help of the Holy Spirit, to respond on a way that we know we are making God feel proud of us!

Meekness

2009-06-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

I keep getting this word "meekness" in my brain these days. I think because I get tired watching women around me over-active, over-committed, over-talkative, and overwhelmed. Let's face it I am in a culture where everyone is just busy... and if they are not busy, they post this on Facebook, "I am bored!" In the cyberworld, I see many women busy bragging about what they are and what they have... busy talking about what my hubby calls, "trivial"... busy playing... busy airing their opinion in just about anything... busy becoming opinionated... busy justifying themselves... busy defending their rights... busy, busy, busy! I can not exclude myself from these women because at some point I fell into this obnoxiousness until God's Word rebuked me! Well, only on the area of being opinionated (to be fair with myself :0).

Listening to Nancy Leigh Demoss and Paul Washer describe a beautiful woman has inspired me more to cultivate a meek and quiet spirit in my life. I love to bask in the peace that comes with having a meek spirit!

What is meekness?

1. It is the opposite of the spirit that makes you show off your opinions on everything!

2. It causes wives to submit to their own husbands... it's the opposite of the spirit that makes a wife/mother nag endlessly!

3. It is the opposite of a manipulative spirit.

4. It's the ability to be quiet and wait.

5. It is the teachable spirit.

6. I think it is also waiting for people to praise you and not your own mouth!

I love this following verses...

1 Peter 3:3-4 "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

Reconciliation

2009-06-17T14:55:00.000-07:00

If you are about to place your gift on the altar and remember that someone is angry with you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God. Matthew 5:23-24 (CEV)

Reconciliation is one of the most important words in my life. Once it dawns me that someone has something against me, it's hard for me to focus on what I am doing. I get so distracted by the thought that a person is not happy with me- by the way I act or say. It even progresses to tormenting my mind. Okay, I know it's also because of my issue with people pleasing. But, honestly, I also know it's part of me wanting to love others.

I am most hurt by those I love! I'm sure all will say the same. The torturing knowledge that a loved-one is angry with me can for sure paralyze my prayer life. It's hard to pray... hard to worship God in this condition. I desire for quick reconciliation, which is impossible at times because not everyone desires the same.

Most of the time, I initiate reconciliation. When the other person shuts me off... I cry. It hurts me. I want people to tell me what I've done wrong. I want to apologize. I want to heal broken relationship. I want to leave people alone if their reason for shutting me off is that they simply do not want me to be around them and to be friendly with them. I will cry for rejection but then I will be happy they were honest with me and I can start to move on!

Anyway, here are steps to work through to find possible reconciliation that I've learned.

1. Write or think of reasons for the estrangement.
2. Think through your motive for wanting reconciliation. God's motive is love.
3. Pray for this person to experience God's blessings.
4. Pray for yourself, for the power of the Holy Spirit to do what you must.
5. Start the process of letting go the hurt and anger.
6. Think through whether you can trust again, become vulnerable again, in order to grow an change.
7. Seek to forgive no matter who is most to blame in your opinion.
8. Shoulder your part of responsibility.
9. Swallow your pride, say, "I'm sorry."
10. Follow-up with acts of kindness and striving to restore trust.

If the other person refuses to go the distance with you, bless and let her go.

We should not think that we are fine praying or worshiping God when we don't make an effort to be reconciled with those we know are angry at us. There is no blessing whatsoever when we say, "She is ignoring me, she must be jealous of me because I have not done anything wrong!" We are all imperfect, we offend others unintentionally and intentionally... in both cases, we are to live a life of an ambassador of reconciliation... all for the GLORY OF GOD!

Love and Fear

2009-05-26T15:30:00.000-07:00

Love is focused on others. It is not self-centered. It reaches out to others... sees other people's needs and willingly extend a hand. Fear is focused on protecting oneself. Because of this, most women who has this unhealthy kind of fear talk more about themselves, what they have and are.

Love thinks no evil. Fear broods over potential evils.

Love focuses on the present. Thankful and contented of the blessings today. Fear frets over the future.

Love moves us toward involvement with others. Fear forces us into withdrawal and isolation from others.

Love is based on fact and on faith. Fear is based on emotion

Love is the highest expression of our humanness and Christlikeness. Fear is a base, instinctive reaction that we have in common with the animals.

Love is a mark of a Christian who trusts God. Fear is a mark of doubt and lack of faith in God.

Let's pray that God perfects us in love for this is a powerful antidote to the toxin of unhealthy fear.

Mama Merie

2009-05-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

For Mother's Day this year, I bought Mama a flowery blue silky dress. She is one who is much into dresses, so I am positive she will love it when she gets the box I am sending her this month. I also made her a photo book of the pictures from that day we celebrated her 50th Wedding Anniversary to Papa. On the last page of that book, I wrote a personal note. I might as well share that note here since I talked about it...

Ma, there are so many women in this world who look and act noble but you are the best of them all! A businesswoman, Bible teacher, philanthropist (as you cared for those homeless tribal kids), excellent wife and praiseworthy mother!

You have always been an excellent wife to Papa! I am a living witness how you served him with all of your strength and heart. I've seen how you gave up yourself for him. There might be times in the past that you disagreed with his ideas but you always ended up following his leadership... and that is wonderful! It shows how pro-active a woman you are. I love your sweetness to Papa. It is very cute to see you kiss his cheeks and not blushed about it.

As a mother, you have displayed your strong love to your children by working so hard just to earn the resources we needed to get our college education. We owe our education to you! I remember you would wake up very early in countless mornings to make breakfast for us and to prepare your (whatever) goods to sell. It looked like you didn't care how exhausted you were from selling your goods all day long, you came home with a smile and made dinner for your family. You washed your entire family's clothes by hand... you even ironed our school uniforms! Where did you get the strength to do so many things with only two hands? Where did your laughter come from after those days of total labor? I am amazed! See, I am now a wife and a mother and I have all kinds of appliances at home to supposedly do things for me, but I sometimes forget to smile and laugh being tired from doing the household chores! Ma, what an inspiration you always are to me! Thank you for your hard work and devotion to take care of us growing up. Thank you that you were always home when we arrived from school. Thank you for making me and my sister dresses that made us look like twins, even though I am 2 years older than her. That was pure cute! Thank you for your hugs and kisses...*sobs* even when we thought we were too big and grown up for them, we still got them from you.

I must also thank you for asking me so many questions (I felt like I was on an interrogation stand ;)when I got home later than you expected me to be home. It really helped protect me! Thank you for giving me your (unsolicited) criticisms about my suitors when I was in college. When my heart broke for the very first time, you were there to comfort me and tried to make me feel better by airing your disgust about my heart-breaker. Funny how I didn't think you were right about your poor ideas of my crushes... because I can see them clearly now. They were way far from my guy now, who I married close to four years ago. Yes, you were right... you were right... you were right!!! It pays to wait!

I just love your wisdom, endurance and inner strength to live a full life even after you lost your first four children. It's a situation way too impossible for me to imagine. It had to be God! It had to be the Almighty God who made it possible for you to live a life of joy, love and contentment after such a traumatic experience as deaths of your own children. You are a woman of strength, indeed! And it's only because of your wholly surrendered life to Jesus.

Most of all, I want to thank you for teaching us the most important thing in this world... to be right with God at all times! This is the best of all memorials you have given us. I never forget to start and end my day with prayer and meditation of God's Word because you and Papa had planted that truth in my life! The busyness in this world has tried to uproot it from my life but it has not been very successful because it's was planted right and has grown into a big tree. Thank you for pinching my side every time I refused to wake up at 4 am for our family devotion! Thank you for posting all kinds of Bible verses around our house and printing them on cards for us to memorize every morning when we gathered for breakfast! How wise a woman you are! You knew we needed to be filled with the Word of God rather than with what the world could offer us.

Ma, I love you!

All About Eve

2009-04-21T12:52:00.002-07:00

I'm generally not sort of a fanatical person, except of course about God and the Bible. I can freely say that I don't have a burning desire to watch any shows on TV. I watch it only for the news and a very few Christian shows. I try not to be hooked to that idiot box. In fact, when our Samsung plasma television blew up, I wasn't really affected except for the fact that it was expensive when we bought it almost 2 years ago. And I enjoy home without a television more. I do watch a little TV with my little girl in our basement for her Veggie Tales movies from time to time. Anyway, it's just that, one day, it dawned on me that I was beginning to be so disgusted with how corrupt most TV shows have become. The Filipino channels have not been really careful as to what they show to very young audiences. I found it especially appalling that afternoon variety shows are showing dancers dressed in a very skimpy attires and rendering sensual dances. It's icky to me! I asked my husband to stop our subscription to TFC for that reason.

Ooops... I wasn't really planning to write about TV shows... anyway...

These past few months, I have discovered that I could actually watch some Filipino shows in the internet and choose the shows that I only want to see. I got curious and checked it out. I found this soap called All About Eve. I got interested because Sunshine Dizon and Iza Calzado are the main actors. I just think both of them have an excellent acting prowess. Three weeks ago, I started watching the said soap to find out how the two actors do. However, I eventually got drawn to its story... especially that this time I am working on my Bible study on Managing our Moods by the Women of Faith. The said soap is showing a lot of the drama revolving the moods and desires of women. Last week, we studied on jealousy, and that particular subject is surrounding the story of the soap I've been watching.

All About Eve shows how jealousy can be the starting point of all evil thoughts and deeds that corrupt an envious woman. Jealousy destroys! It wrecks relationships and other people... and it wrecks it's own slave! The jealous young woman character in the soap, Erica, played by Sunshine Dizon is supposedly a combo of beauty and brains but her jealous heart reconstructed her into a very ugly person. It says a lot about how a shimmering supple skin, nice expensive make up, perfect body figure and sharp brain do not have the power to cover the ugliness of the heart.

Thanking God for his power to live a life on the winning side of the battle against the green-eyed monster!!! Praising HIM!!!

My Fight against the Green-eyed Monster

2009-04-14T16:03:00.000-07:00

At our ladies Bible study at church yesterday, we studied about what the Bible says on the issue of jealousy. I love this particular study because all women (I dare to say, all...) battle with this thing at some point in our lives. Some women may still be on the losing side of this particular struggle, but some women are already on the winning side.

All my life, I have warred against the green-eyed monster. Growing up, having the cutest, bubbliest and happiest baby sister on earth left me filled with envy in the corner. It felt like whatever I did won't measure up to what my little sister could do, as far as pleasing people was concern. I felt like nobody liked me. That wasn't the truth, of course. But that was what I exactly felt. I was jealous of her type A personality.

When I entered high school, I was 12 years old, I started getting jealous of my classmates and friends. Eventually, I had learned to lie. I became one big fat liar! It was my way of covering my struggle against jealousy. However, the more I lied the more miserable I became. I have always believed that I made God unhappy with my life every time I lie and that He would punish me. And I have always known that liars do not have a place in heaven. That truth made me feel so restless. I wanted to get out from my lying prison. I prayed many prayers with tears asking God for deliverance. I started hating it when I lied... I started to hate being jealous of others.

Something important happened when I was a junior. Our literature teacher had us memorize and recite "Desiderata" in front of our class. I worked hard on memorizing it... and I took it to heart. One of the paragraphs in the said poem goes...

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

I found myself quoting that particular paragraph over and over again when I'm alone. I still do now! That paragraph helped me got on my footings with strength to defeat my enemy- the green-eyed monster. However, the fight didn't end. It continued until I entered college. There were times when I lost, and times when I won the battle.

A youth pastor was sent by the Lord to mentor me spiritually when I was a freshman in college. His main job in my life was to show me and make me understand that I was wonderfully and fearfully created by God... that I am unique, special and different from others! That I was uniquely equipped with skills and talents to fulfill a special purpose in life. Most importantly, he showed me that my identity is found in nowhere but in who I am before my Creator, Savior and Lord! I loved being mentored by that pastor! He ushered me to the only Truth that completely delivered me from jealousy- the Word of God. I especially loved my study with him on the spiritual gifts where I discover not only "who I was" but also "who I was not."

Did my battle against the green-eyed monster end there? No. I am still battling against it? Yes. But, to God be all the glory, I am on the winning side! How? Every time Miss Envy comes to attack me, I remind her that she is powerless over me for the blood of the Lamb delivered me from all unrighteousness and has given me the power to live my life for Him- including recognizing and being thankful of my own blessings and... entering into the successes and blessings of others!

Yummy Sunday

2009-04-06T07:19:00.001-07:00

Rainbow cake for my hubby's birthday! I thought I would bake a very colorful cake for him being that he loves colors. I wasn't very satisfied with how my cake turned out but it's fun because he thought it was fantastic. For more yummilicious food, check this out...

Very Special Friend

2009-04-02T07:59:00.000-07:00

Tiyeen (the nickname I gave her) was my best and close friend for several years. Although, she called me her mother of faith, I never felt like our relationship was that of a mentor-mentee. Realistically, the feeling was that of best-friends. We parted ways when she graduated from college and left our city for a job in Manila. But even when we were far from each other, we were still the best of friends. We communicated regularly and visited each other often.

She was one of the most helpful persons I've ever known. She had the ability to free herself from her obligations at work to help people in need. I cannot imagine how much she helped me every time I prepared for a trip overseas once I became a career missionary. She was there every time I called her for help. The same amount of support she gave to my little sister and friends. She became the person to call in times of need.

I loved and still love her a lot like I have loved my own sister. She has such a fun personality. We just clicked together... we laugh at the same kind of joke. We both love to sing and dance... and we know what each of us is good at. We even decided that she was a singing dancer and I was the dancing singer. If you know who is good at what! We both enjoyed verbalizing our day-dreams. We talked about our dreams for the future. And guess what? Our dreams came true.

Seven years ago, our friendship started to drift away. Some little misunderstandings and lack of regular communication parted us farther as the years went by. Each of our lives was tested heavily. We both faced big hurdles in life. Separately, we dealt with our challenges by God's help. We both longed for each other's friendship support but we were not there. We prayed for each other, that's for sure. And we thought of each other always when we heard the word "best-friends".

Seven years had passed and I felt that it was time to look for her. When we visited the Philippines recently, I asked our friends about her. One of them gave me her contact info but I unfortunately misplaced the card that had her info... Oh, such a bummer! Arriving home, I googled her name and confirmed that she's in the Middle East. I searched for her in Facebook... lo and behold, she is there!!! I sent her a message straight away. The next day, she replied with all of her contact info. I then gave her a call and we had the first talk on the phone after many years. She told me that she had also been longing to communicate with me for a couple years but couldn't find my contact info. Oh, it was a happy day!

Now, we are the best of friends again! I can't wait for her to visit me and my family here in Minnesota. I just can't wait. We will for sure have all-night chitchats and a combo of laughter and crying. Oh and yes, she is a laughing cry-er and I am a crying laugh-er! LOL!

God is a God is of healing and restoration. He healed and restored our friendship. I can't thank God enough for this blessing!

Temper

2009-03-31T07:53:00.000-07:00

At our ladies Bible study at church last week, our subject was Temper. It was such a great reminder to read verses that address anger. There are so many verses in the Bible that command Christians to cease from anger. In this culture where being real with our emotions is encouraged... in this "free" world where showing emotions is okay, it is easy to accept even those emotions that are biblically unacceptable. When God says, "cease from anger!" it is because He knew how anger could go overboard, hurting those around us and hurting our own selves.

The story of Moses blowing up his temper is especially serving as my red flag. If we remember, in his anger he threw the tablets that contained the 10 Commandments that God Himself wrote on them and broke them into pieces. That very scene warns me to be very careful with my hands when I'm angry. What if it's my little girl that I am holding when I give myself to anger? I would hurt her... and eventually realize that I actually hurt myself for hurting my own child. It would be terrible! I would find it hard to even forgive myself. This is really a warning to me because I have a tendency to slam-bang the cupboard doors when I am upset... I know, terrible!

Another story that really got into me regarding temper is Jonah's anger account. In his anger, he spoke death on himself. How easy it is to find the most hurtful words to suffice our anger! I have to remind myself over and over again never to say anything when I am angry. I better shut my mouth up than throwing daggers to those around me with my words.

Last Friday night, I felt like my hormones were out of whack... I was angry for some reason. I was pouting. But then, I prayed for God's power to help me control myself. I told Him I was angry but that I would not want to hurt my precious family in anyway. Then I made a decision to never give in to my temper. I chose to tame myself. I think that for our anger to be harmless, we should pray first of all, then choose to do the right thing... that what pleases God! When God's word says, "cease from anger", He knows that His children are not powerless to be "angry but sin not!"

Self-esteem

2009-03-24T14:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was reading an article about how psychotherapy has become so common among Christians who are supposedly struggling from psychological dysfunction. The said article quoted a key point that Dr. James Dobson mentioned in his book about women. The key point the author of the article wrote is that most women in America suffer low self-esteem. I was totally taken aback! All this while I have always believed that American women are the most confident women in the world. How in the world did that happen?

As an Asian woman, I have wished I had the confidence of an American woman. I used to not feel comfortable around men, especially talking to them. I didn't feel comfortable saying "thank you" to someone who tells me that I look pretty. I didn't receive compliments well. It was not convenient for me to voice my opinions without being asked. I used to view giving unsolicited advice as cockiness. I, therefore, avoided giving it to people to the best of my ability. I used to wait until people discover my talents and abilities. I, definitely, was not the type of person who tells the world what I was good at. If I appear to be a very confident woman now, then it is purely because of how God changed me.

I have no idea where Dr. Dobson was coming from when he said that most American women are suffering low self-esteem because I haven't read his book. I am just bewildered over that report. American parents are so good at affirming and building their kids' confidence. Something ordinary Filipino parents need to learn. So where does this low esteem come from? I don't know. But here's what I think... from my experience teaching 15 teenage girls with my husband at our old church and from spending time with our American friends and family, I think the problem that most American women are suffering from is high self-esteem. Most of them think they're better than what they are and have now. In saying this, I don't mean to say that it's wrong to be ambitious, because it is not if the said ambition is in line with God's purposes for our lives, but if it means discontentment and covetousness then it will surely lead to depression.

When I think about depression among women, I think about how many women believe that they deserve better than what they are and have now and be angry at the world they are in. There is no contentment because they think highly of themselves.

Barbie Dolls

2009-03-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

As a little girl, I was into dolls. I used to play dolls a lot with my baby sister. At first we made dolls out of Coke bottles, dressing them up with my mom's scrap fabrics (Mom used to sew our dresses). I remember sewing a dress for our bottle doll one day. But when my dad started traveling to big cities, he would come home with baby dolls for me and my sister. Oh, how we loved them!

Isabelle wasn't really into dolls until last Sunday. Her cousin gave her a Dora doll set. Since then, she got herself busy changing Dora's clothes and shoes. While doing it, she would say lines that she has memorized from Dora tv show. It's fun to see her enjoying her new toy. She had a Dora rag doll but it's not the same as this set she has now.

Speaking of dolls, I know that a lot of my friends buy their little girls barbie dolls. And their daughters have started collecting them. From the beginning barbies didn't fascinate me for some reason. I just find them cute. Last Sunday, driving from my BIL's place in St. Paul, my husband and I were listening to a radio talk show. The host was talking about Barbie dolls and why they have adult features even though they are little girls' toys. There was a lot of complicating views from the listeners making phone calls to the broadcaster.

Watching Isabelle play with her Dora doll set this morning, I decided to do some readings about Barbie dolls. And here is what I have found...

"History: Barbie's Debut in 1959 by Erica Wolf

In February of 1959, Barbie was first introduced at the American International Toy Fair in New York (Barbie Dolls). Her creators, Ruth and Elliot Handler (co-founders of Mattel) modeled Barbie after the German doll known as Lilli. Lilli began as a cartoon character in a daily newspaper called the Bild-Zeitung (BillyBoy 19). This character, known for her large breasts and sexy clothing, was created for adult entertainment "a symbol of sex and pornography for the men of Germany" (Johnson "History"). Handler discovered Lilli while shopping in Switzerland and brought the doll home for her daughter to play with.

Ruth was inspired to create an adult doll for little girls. Handler had Jack Ryan, executive of Mattel, purchase the rights for Lilli and negotiate with a company from Tokyo to create a doll like Lilli. The reason for going overseas was in order to create an inexpensive new doll. American male designers told Handler that it would be impossible to make such a doll (with stylish clothing and accessories) for an affordable price. The new doll had a softer look created by the "rotation-molding" process used in the making of the vinyl body (Johnson "History"). In addition to a different body, Bud Westmore, the "make-up czar" at Universal Pictures, gave Lilli a makeover (Lord 32). He discarded her "bee-stung lips, heavy eyelashes, and widow's peek eyebrows" (Lord 32). Following these improvements, Ryan modified the doll's joints.

Finally in 1958, Barbie Millicent Roberts was born 11 1/2 inches tall and weighing 11 ounces. She debuted as a teenage model in a black and white striped swimsuit that came with sunglasses, high-heeled shoes, and gold-colored hoop earrings (see Figure 1). Her body was shapely with movable head, arms, and legs. Barbie was the first doll in America with an adult body."

Just by reading that portion made me feel like throwing up! I would never want my daughter to play with that doll.

Another thing that makes me dislike a barbie doll is that it sets a standard of fake beauty. Girls grow up thinking that they have to have a body figure and shimmering skin like that of a barbie doll to be called beautiful. Barbies became a fashion statement too. Many little girls today have a barbie beauty mentality. How sad! Christian mothers should be very careful about what they give their little daughters. It is important to train our daughters to learn to mirror the Bible for authentic beauty.

My Normal Days

2009-03-19T11:56:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine asked me what my day is like. Well, it's pretty much ordinary. The only thing that makes it special is the thing I learn from God as I spend time with Him in His Word and prayer. Anyway, I will attempt to describe my daily schedule here...

On weekdays, I wake up between 7 and 8 am. I usually go straight to the couch in the family room and continue waking up (I wake up really slow!) under the throw blanket for about 10 minutes. Then, I would walk to the center aisle in the kitchen to turn my laptop on. While it's doing its thing, I would make ham or tuna and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my husband to take to work for his lunch. I would go back to my lappy and open my Audio Bible Online website to listen to a least 3 chapters. Sometimes, I open Revive Our Hearts website for Nancy Leigh Demoss' online radio broadcast. While that is playing for me, I make coffee and eggs for myself. When my coffee and eggs are ready I'd go back to where my lappy is and start following the words in my Audio Bible while having breakfast. Paul is usually done with his breakfast by the time I start mine. Isabelle usually wakes up between 10 and 11 am. By the time she wakes up, I'm done with my breakfast and listening to the Audio Bible and praying. Isabelle, most of the time, calls me to pick her up from her (sometimes our) bed. I'd then go and greet her "good morning" and ask her if she had a dream. Normally, she would say, "yes". Then she starts making up stories. I'd bring her to the kitchen and gave her breakfast. While she is having her breakfast, I'd make the beds. When she is done eating, I take her to her room to change her diaper and clothes. Then, I am ready to face the house work. While she is coloring, playdough, reading her books while listening to her music, I am blogging or blog-hopping, facebooking, doing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen and doing three of the following once-a-week chores: talking to friends, vacuuming the floor, cleaning the bathrooms, doing the laundry, ironing and folding clothes, dusting the furniture, fixtures and windows, cleaning the main floor, cleaning the basement and going out with friends. Once in two weeks, Izzy and I are at the Bible study in our church at these hours. Then we have lunch. We always have rice, veggies and fish or shrimp for lunch. After lunch, we usually study and play. I read her her books and teach her numbers, letters,shapes and colors. We also do picture reading. Then, she takes a nap. She usually naps for 2 hours and while she is doing that, I study. Now, I am working on David 90 Days with a Heart like His. After studying, if Izzy is still sleeping, I do journal or scrapping. Then, I would cook for dinner. Paul comes home and we all have dinner. After dinner, I usually chat with family and friends for an hour or two, while Paul and Izzy are spending time with each other. Then, we sometimes watch the news or talk and get ready for bed. So that's my weekday except when I decide to go out with friends shopping or getting together. Interruptions also include traveling- like driving to Winona which rarely happens- just on holidays.

On weekends, we usually wake up at 9 to 9:30 am. We all have breakfast at 10:30. It normally is a long breakfast. We have long conversations on Saturday mornings! We then go out for fun or shopping. Eat out for lunch. When we come home, Izzy naps and Paul and I read or do things around the house. The we go to friends' house for dinner. Sometimes they come to our house. We would talk the evening away. Sleep. Wake up on Sunday morning. Go to church. In the afternoon, I sleep for 2 hours. When I wake up we go food shopping. That's about it.

Izzy and I at Cub Foods- Apple Valley

Just Follow Your Heart!

2009-03-09T16:03:00.000-07:00

"Just follow your heart." I have heard this piece of advice over and over that I also became one of its thousand "users". I guess it is not necessarily wrong if the recipient of that line has a heart that was redeemed by the blood of Jesus and is ruled by His Lordship.

How can we say, "Just follow your heart" to a person whose heart is not surrendered to God's lordship? The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 that the heart is deceitful above all things. And that out of it comes evil thoughts, adulteries, fornication, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness.

We can only follow our heart when God is on its throne!

Examining Selfishness

2009-01-15T09:56:00.000-08:00

"I am his because he appreciates perfection!" That line is printed on one of my favorite T-shirts. My husband I have been into teasing each other on the area of selfishness. For instance, one morning he heard my cellphone beeping its low battery notice. It beeps every 5 minutes when the battery needs to be recharged. The beeps really get annoying... they definitely get on my hubby's nerves! So he lovingly asked me to give him my cellphone so he could plug it into the charger. And I said, "that's so nice and loving of you to do that for me." And then I said, "Oh, wait... you really didn't mean to show me some love now, you're actually doing it for yourself because you were annoyed with the beeps!" And of course, we LOL! He says that a lot to me too. One thing I like about our marriage is that we have learned to verbalize our thoughts and feelings for each other. On our first year of marriage, I used to assume that he knows what I think and feel and I was frustrated. Women, Asian specially, have that attitude of making their husbands guess what they think and feel. For me that's not fair. Husbands are humans and so they are definitely not omniscient. My husband loves it when I tell him what I think and feel instead of pouting to cue him that something's not right.

Okay, going back to that line... when my husband saw that for the first time, he said, "oh, thanks honey! Oh, wait... that line actually praises yourself more than it praises me!" So there you go! It's a "got ya" line!

Forgiveness

2009-01-15T08:36:00.000-08:00

I blogged about this girl who sent me nasty text messages in my cellphone a couple months ago... here and here.

Well, I asked her to tell me what I did to upset her a lot of times. She refused. She wasn't being fair to me. She even got to the point of being verbally abusive in her text messages. My only demand was for her to spell my offense out. She sent me a thousand scathing words but never told me what I did wrong. My carnal desire was revenge. Kind of you-hurt-me-i-will-hurt-you thing. But in my heart of heart, I knew it was not right. I prayed and God changed the attitude in my heart. A compassion for her has started to fill me. I felt sorry that she was being eaten up by her bitterness. I know how it is to be filled with bitterness. I prayed for her. Her next hurtful text messages didn't hurt anymore after the prayer. I stopped demanding that she explains how I hurt her because I felt like it just made her angrier. I stopped demanding that she be fair with me... it was just not possible that time. God's message to me was clear, "I know you are offended and hurt, but I want you to show one more act of kindness." I did... I told her to give me one more chance. I asked her to forgive me of whatever I did wrong. But she refused. Well, I did what I needed to do and it was quite liberating.

Then, we met at a Christmas party. Oh, how uncomfortable that was to arrive at a party and see her. Well, I approached her and looked straight at her eyes. She got up from her chair, opened her arms and gave me a big hug... with her eyes starting to get wet with tears and said, "I'm sorry." I was touched. I think I just needed that... no more no less! No explanations needed. I forgave her!

Courage

2009-01-02T15:06:00.001-08:00

I found that image in the internet and really liked it. It shows a lot of courage on the part of the cat to walk bravely in front of the dogs. Do you think the cat is scared? I think so. But being scared does not automatically make anyone incapacitated. To be scared doesn't disqualify a person to do great things. To be scared is even a prerequisite to be courageous. It's kind of like you have to experience to be scared before you need to be courageous.

I love the word courage. But my favorite definition of this word is "the determination to do right when pressured to do wrong." I also love the Biblical definition of it, which is "obeying God despite the risks or losses."

A Sad Joke

2008-12-17T09:55:00.000-08:00

I was blog hopping this morning and saw this photo in one of the blogs I visited. I know it was meant for a joke but it made my heart cry. Is it just me not getting the joke? Others were laughing at it. Maybe it's just me. I have been saddened by the high divorce rate in America. I've known and cried for my friends who have been facing marriage problems. And I know that one root factor that causes a lot of divorces in the country is the discontentment of the wives to stay home and take care of their families in a full time basis. When a wife starts to seek her independence- gets a career outside home which demands a whole lot of time away from her family, when she starts to neglect her main obligations as a wife and a mother, and when she refuses to submit to the headship of her husband, that's when serious marriage problems arise. This is the main reason why I can't laugh at this joke of a picture of a husband bowing down in front of her wife. It would be sinful of me to even imagine my husband bowing down before me. Marriage is a serious thing. It is a godly thing. Satan would do everything to destroy as many marriages as possible. The least we can do to honor our marriages is to take it seriously.

Yummy Sunday

2008-12-13T13:02:00.001-08:00

Fried Breaded Shrimp- Isabelle's favorite appetizer. For more photos of yummilicious food check out Yummy Sunday here...

They, too, Love my Hubby!

2008-12-03T07:33:00.000-08:00

When I had the "seasoned" ladies at our church over for a luncheon a few weeks ago, they told me how they admire my husband for his being a responsible, hard working, kind, pleasant and godly young man. One of them even said that he is her favorite young man at church. That was not the first time I heard that same comment for my my husband. Some older ladies before told me that Paul is every woman's dream for a son-in-law.

Last summer, Paul and I had a dinner date in St. Paul downtown. Next to our table was an older couple (we found out later that they were siblings) who started talking to us. We started a long conversation with them, especially when they found out that I am originally from the Philippines. It so happened that both of them grew up in the Philippines when their father was in the US navy. Our conversation became more interesting as we covered politics. The lady was a strong Democratic supporter. Paul reasoned with her with kind words. Then the lady said, "I can't believe I am even talking to a Republican supporter! You (referring to Paul) are the first Republican supporter I ever talked to. There is something about you that I really love! Your personality is beautiful! Oh, I love this guy!" Hearing that line I said to myself, "Wow! And he is my husband! I married a noble man!" The next few minutes were spent evangelizing the couple.

Here's more... You'd think only older ladies admire my husband. No. Last week, our next door neighbor told me that her little 3-year-old girl really likes Paul. She would go to their window and check if Paul's van is in our driveway. Then she would say, "Paul isn't home because his van is not there." Our neighbor across the street also has a 3-year old girl. She comes and plays with Isabelle from time to time. When she was over last week, I had a little conversation with her when she asked me where Paul was. I told her, "He is still at work." "What time will he be home?" she asked again. I said, "In thirty minutes." Her little face looked sad and said, "It's going to be my bedtime. I have to see Paul. I have to." I think it was cute how these little girls also love my husband.

Yummy Sunday

2008-11-30T05:28:00.000-08:00

What can be yummier than a chocolate fountain! My little girl gets excited every time we set this sweeeeet fountain but when it comes to eating time, she only eats marshmallows without chocolate coating! How funny is that! For me, there is nothing more deliciouso than chocolate coated banana or pineapple chunks!

Anger

2008-11-18T13:40:00.000-08:00

Last week, I was angry. I was angry because my sincerity was questioned and my offer of sisterly love was turned down by someone who I truly wanted to consider me as her friend. And I'm sure I was angry because I felt rejected. My human nature wanted that I would indulge in angry bashing to even the score. It demanded me that I would go an-eye-for-an-eye-and-a-tooth-for-a-tooth with her. It needed me to hurt her back. I was angry! But thank God for this special occasion! It turned out to be the special time to know how I deal with anger.

I used to have issues on anger. When I got angry, I usually wouldn't stop talking until I mow people down with my hurtful words. It is by God's grace alone that I've learned to stop doing that. It was when He put me in a place where everything around just made me angry that He taught me to learn to be quiet and to pray instead. If I didn't learn that, I would have become an ugly duckling! No, seriously, God placed me to work for an angry ugly woman. She was always angry and she was super ugly! Being that I shared an office with her a year and a half, I became her anger target. I was hurt! So hurt I promised I didn't want to do it to others! She was so ugly I didn't want to become like her! She had a chronic hostile attitude on anything and on almost everyone. She was angry at the whole world. She was angry at God! But God has used her life to cultivate an important character in me... SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY!

I want to be beautiful and knowing how anger can make a person ugly and sickly, I pray that I become slow to become angry everyday. I feel sorry to see many angry and ugly women. They usually are the ones who are overly opinionated, loud and not happy. I feel for them and pray that God will begin to do a make-over in their lives, just as what He has done in me.

Here is a short test if what you have is a sinful anger or a righteous one...

1. Do you get angry most often about personal slights or over injustices against others?
2. Would your family members call you an angry person?
3. Would your family members say that you can't control your temper, that you tend to argue all the time, and that you lash out at the smallest criticism?
4. When someone offends you, does your response match the crime?

Little Self-Pity Party

2008-11-14T06:27:00.000-08:00

I have been really tempted to hold a little self-pity party this past few days. It all started when I sent a text message to a friend (I thought she was) to ask her how she was doing. She had her baby through C-section about three weeks ago. I know how it is to be in that condition being that I went through the same process. I wanted to know if there's anything I could help her with and when we could come visit them to see the baby. She replied to my text saying that she would invite me once she sees the sincerity in me. I almost dropped! Well, my heart dropped, that's for sure! It hurt so bad. The worst thing was when I asked if she could tell me what I have done wrong, she just said that she'll tell me when the weather is good! I think she is being very mean! This was after all the letters, calls and gifts that I and my husband sent to her. And after the baby shower that I and other ladies had organized for her. We even tried to offer our baby furniture for them to use so they could save. Well, she was complaining about how tight they had been financially over the years. So we just wanted to help them out. But she turned down most of our offers. And that was fine. What's not fine was when she told me that all this while she hasn't seen any sincerity in me. It hurt! Not because it's true that I wasn't sincere but because my sincerity to her was also turned down. Yes, I finally realize it... it was a feeling of rejection. Oh, and that's the reason why it hurt so bad. I felt so rejected by someone I've been really trying to please!

I am just thankful that I was able to respond well to this effort to devastate me. Nice try, I would say. I am so grateful that I've learned to pray before doing anything important. After I got that text, I prayed and looked deep inside my heart of heart. I asked the Lord if I was being insincere to her. I looked for insincerity in me. The answer...

I admit I didn't like her since Day 3. On Day 1, I thought I found a really nice friend. Until she started gossiping about other women in our group and her own sisters. She also showed her true colors when she talked about the movies she liked, the kind of songs she sang, the books she read and when she said "God is not a 'demanding' kind of a god" to justify her worldliness. Day 2, I tried to gently and carefully stop her from gossiping and gently and carefully told her that I think God is pretty demanding of us to present ourselves to Him as holy vessels. But He, of course, gives us the Holy Spirit to have a freedom to live a holy life and full of joy. He demands that we become like Christ each day but is very patient and loving when we fail. Yes, He is very gracious to us and so we must not abuse that grace. Anyway, on Day 2, I could feel her distancing from me. So as I've said, on Day 3, I disliked her but I knew I had to respect and love her. I gave her space but reached out to her for love's sake when I got a chance. I know I've been sincerely reaching out to her. I would go past my not-so-good-feeling and love her just how God loves her. And I admit that my effort (by God's grace) to love her made a significant change in my heart. So sometimes, I wouldn't even feel that I didn't like her. No question about sincerity. I know that I've always been sincere.

I wrote about people pleasing, I think this instance is a perfect example. I've been putting a lot of work to please this girl. And I've not pleased her. She has rejected me and my sincere desire to be her friend. May God bless her. As for me, life must go on- pleasing God rather than man.

It Pays to Wait

2008-11-13T06:42:00.000-08:00

I wrote about how I was at the edge of giving up with my desire to be a part of a certain team. And that I even started complaining but thankfully remembered that everything is beautiful in its time. Here is the link to what I wrote about waiting... Waiting

Anyway, the other day, the said team leader called me for a meeting with the whole team this coming Sunday. I am just glad I didn't give up and continued to wait upon God's perfect time.

Learn from the "Seasoned"

2008-11-12T08:55:00.001-08:00

One of the blessings God has given me this year is the privilege to get to know and be close to the "seasoned" ladies at our new church. How I love these ladies! They are super sweet! Super godly women! I'm glad I decided to join their Bible study twice a month. It's such a great opportunity to learn from these women who have a long way in their relationship with the Lord. I treasure them all in my heart. I am very drawn to them, I think because my mother is some thousand miles away from me and I miss her.

Yesterday, after our Bible study, I invited most of them over to my house for lunch. I felt so honored to have them come and blessed me with their presence. For more of the story... Seasoned

God Owns our Children!

2008-11-10T16:35:00.000-08:00

Rereading the account of Hannah has given me a ton of great lessons to learn. I can not understand this woman who could take a child she had nursed at her breast, swayed to sleep in her arms, watched as he took his first wobbly steps- and then put him in the care of a stranger, well, okay maybe not completely a stranger, releasing him to the plans of God! Only a woman desperately dependent on God.

As I seek to obey God, I have to understand the depth of the meaning that this child He gave me is ultimately His. I do not own my daughter. He does... and He has a purpose for her life. I can only be one of His main instruments to help show my daughter the way that leads to her life's uniquely designed purpose. I know that God doesn't have the capability of using a wrong instrument. There is a reason why I am my daughter's mother. God knew that Hannah would be the perfect mother for Samuel. He knew that she would train his very young heart to learn to listen and respond when he is called.

I don't know how other mothers train their babies to listen to them but this is what I do... I started talking to my daughter from the moment she was born. I made sure she looked at me. When she turned a year old, I started leaving her in the living room playing with her toys while I go take a quick shower. I would remind her to respond to me every time I call her name from the shower. It took her a few months to figure that out. She progressed from not responding at all to repeating what I said, like if I would say, "Izzy!" she'd also say "Izzy!" to finally say, "mommy, I am here." It was pure joy when one day she finally got it. I believe Hannah taught that to little Samuel. And that was Hannah's part in God's process of making her son a prophet. What an important role! As a mother, I received an important role to play in my daughter's life. That is also the reason why I want to be there for and with my daughter 24/7. I don't understand mothers leaving their babies in daycare centers 8/5. And I pray for these mothers.

Well, I don't really know how to end this entry. Some days, I just feel like it is super hard to become a good writer. Today is one of those days!

My Sweetie Pie

2008-11-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

I was preparing our garden for the winter the other day. It was a perfect day for that because the weather was surprisingly warm. I pruned my roses and covered them with dried leaves. I don't like to see dried plants especially in the garden by our main door, so I cut them all off and threw them away. I worked hard that day while my little girl was running around. Then she came to me and put her little white arm around me and said with comforting voice, "Oh, Sweetie Pie!" I was so touched and shocked I laughed! Then she said, "Too loud, mommy." LOL! That's the cutest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Now, I am my two-year-old daughter's sweetie pie!

Today's Clean Laugh

2008-11-05T14:26:00.000-08:00

*Elementary Motherhood*

Following are answers given by grade school-age children to the given questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch Tape is.
2. Think about it. It was the best way to get more people.
3. Mostly to clean the house.
4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic, plus super powers, and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We are related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

How did your mom meet your dad?
1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?
1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad is such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power because that's who you have to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
1. About 30 years.
2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't even have bread on them.

Describe the world's greatest mom?
1. She would be able to make broccoli taste like ice cream.
2. The greatest mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts.
3. She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

Is anything about your mom perfect?
1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
3. Just her children.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter -- then she would know my sister did it and not me.

Waiting

2008-11-03T15:01:00.000-08:00

One thing that easily irritates me is when someone makes me wait. I do not have a lot of grace in waiting. And yes, I need it! I usually gets frustrated that I start complaining. Once I begin expressing my complains, the still small voice starts airing out it's message... "Everything is beautiful in its time. It's not about people failing you, it's about God using the circumstances to build your character." Oh, how easy it is to forget this profound truth and blame people for our disappointments.

Like now, it's been a few months since I started waiting for a go signal to become a part of one group that I've been wanting to join. When I first talk to the leader of this group, she showed so much excitement to have me in the team. But for a month, she didn't even bother to call me to discuss my intentions and when I can start. So I initiated a meeting with her so that we could talk about it. She still showed excitement to having me in the group. I made it sure she knows that I would wait for her call. It's been two months since our last talk. I heard nothing from her. We see each other once a week but she never brought it up. I didn't want to initiate a talk about it again because I was being clear to her on our last talk that I would wait for her go signal. I admit that I really think she is being very rude! And I admit that I started taking it against her. But God, in His grace, has taught me to be patient. To be still and know that He is God. To resist every temptation to become bitter against this person. It may be politically correct to hold it against her, but I chose to renew my mind. Instead of thinking that she is bad, bad, bad, I need to fill my mind with thoughts that the Lord is using this situation to build my character.

I love the fact that God is seldom in a hurry but He's never late! 1 Samuel 13:6-14 records the account of King Saul who lost his kingdom when he stopped waiting on God's time just five minutes before the deliverance. What a fool! I do not want to live like King Saul.

Dear God, help me to wait upon you and to not grow weary while waiting.

Hannah

2008-10-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

I found it really interesting that I keep bumping into anything about Hannah this time. Nearly a month ago, I revisited the account of Hannah in the Bible and was very inspired by what I've learned about her life. Her devotion to the Lord and the way she responded to her circumstances were surely praiseworthy. Looking at her life, for the first time, I had to face the reality that I came short of my responsibility to be a strong support to two of my very good friends who faced barrenness. The story of Hannah has opened my eyes to see and feel what my friends went through.

Anyway, this morning I was listening to Janet Parshall from the internet. She delivered this message at the True Women Conference with Nancy Leigh Demoss in Chicago recently. I was really hoping I could attend the conference but I couldn't leave my 2-year old daughter at home because I am still nursing her. But anyway, I was so surprised when Janet Parshall talked about... Guess who? Hannah! God is bringing it up again to me! I am so excited to know why He wants me to learn about Hannah's life.

Here is the link to Janet Parshall's message...
http://www.truewoman.com/assets/files/mp3/session-05.mp3

Imeldific

2008-10-26T16:37:00.000-07:00

At Word Spy, imeldific means ostentatiously extravagant to the point of vulgarity. The word was coined after the name of Imelda Marcos, the wife of the late President Ferdinand Marcos of the Philippines, who was known to be a shoe collector extraordinaire. Are you imeldific?

In my other blog, I've blogged about how as a little girl I dreamed of living in America. And that it was also a dream of every girl I knew. I never thought God has already orchestrated a plan for me to be here. As a little girl in a family who literally trusted God to provide for our every meal, I would imagine myself living in a big American house with a huge kitchen that has a huge fridge filled with food! Food was just everything for me growing up. It's not that I was a big eater, it's just that there was scarcity of food at our house. As I grew older, my imagination shifted from food to fashion. Undoubtedly, it was inspired by reading many western fashion mags. I so wanted to be in America! With a wrong reason- fashion! After I graduated in College and got to earn my own money, I was immersed into fashion. I bought too many clothes, purses and shoes. The measure of generosity that I used to give to church and bless the poor was the same amount I gave to the fashion industry. Something extraordinary happened between my fashion collection time and the time when God called me to serve Him in Mongolia.

I left my job and grabbed a scholarship at a short-term mission school. That decision had left me with nothing to spend on clothes and shoes. Worst of all, actually I should say best of all, I had to travel around the Philippines to raise my funds for two years before I was deployed to Mongolia. That two years had definitely made an impact in my life. My appetite for fashion had gradually disappeared. I was too excited to fulfill my dream. This time, my dream to live in the remotest place in the world- Mongolia! Living in Mongolia tempted me to resurrect my desire for fashion. Girls in this country were so fashion wired! Paris is part of their system. A friend of mine earned $60 a month but had a few $300 coats and a few $200 pairs of boots! I knew something was drastically changed in me when I would refuse to buy even a single leather coat. I was so happy and content with my chocolate brown winter coat that was donated to me by a friend in Canada. I was happy with a few clothes. I've changed! The Lord changed me!

Then I met the guy who I married later. When he proposed, he promised he would buy me every pair of shoes and every purse I want without even asking him that. Of course, I gave him my big YES. Hahaha! No, it wasn't for that reason, of course. When I came to America, I came to a big house with a big kitchen that has a big fridge filled with food! The house has spacious closets ready to embrace my big clothes, shoes and purse collection. And yes, I admit the closets are filled with my stuff now.

Now, am I imeldific? NO! Look, if you have stores that sell Steve Madden shoes, Coach purses and Express clothes for $7 each, wouldn't you go and fill your closets and look imeldific but spend barely a hundred dollars? I love treasure hunting at Consignment stores! When I say treasure hunting I mean looking for brand new stuff in a generally used items sold in them. They've got to have the tags attached in them. It's fun! But I still have to be careful because I could easily become materialistic even if I would only shop at these kind of stores. Keeping a budget and sticking to it really helps. I always try to buy my clothes and accessories in cash. But anyway, materialism is really a matter of the heart. And I know that by God's grace, it really doesn't matter to me anymore if I only have a pair of shoes. Oh, wait, no... it's impossible to have just a pair of shoes here. I've got to have 4 pairs, one for each season. So really what I was just trying to say is that I know that deep in my heart there is no imeldific struggle. And I so thank God for bringing that change in my life.

Here, showing you a few of my shoe collection.

People Pleasing

2008-10-21T14:01:00.000-07:00

The modern culture has paved the way for a maximized people pleasing. Sadly enough, not many women realize that people pleasing brings debilitating repercussions. Those who basically made it a career suffer uncontrollable lying, unhappiness, envy and increasing discontentment that eventually lead to the big D, called Depression. People pleasing is like a cancer that slowly contaminates and eats up a woman's healthy system. Some women display it more obvious than others. Let's talk about how "others" do people pleasing.

"Others" had a party to go with a friend. They went shopping for party dresses. Her friend says, "I think this dress would be beautiful on me! What do you think?" "Others" replies, "Oh, absolutely!" but thinks the dress was ugly! Lying in its simplest form! One lie leads to another lie and another and another... Before you know it, you have already became one big fat liar.

We naturally love to be loved. Most women love simply because they want to be loved back. They work so hard to be noticed and praised. Fail to notice and praise them and you would be dealing with a crabby woman. We all want to be loved but it is entirely a different thing if that becomes our motivation to love others because it is called the other half of selfishness.

We have covered "Others" issue. Now I'll talk, wait... I mean write about those women who show people pleasing obviously. You'll know it when you go to profiles in Facebook, Hi5, Friendster, Blogger and other social network websites you will see long descriptions of themselves. They would write even the most bizzare poem to try to describe their personality. They would write all of their known (and out-of-this-world) past and present credentials and affiliations. The only message I get when reading these kinds of profiles is... "You've got to like me!"

Another form of sophisticated people pleasing is "Don't judge!". Many women today believe the idea that we are not suppose to judge. "Judge" as in identifying wrong from right. "Judge" as in to evaluate others and draw conclusions about them. Oh, I think I know where they got the idea, it's from Matthew 7:1. But I wish they would read the following verse because that would make a difference. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way as you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (NIV) Matthew 7:1-2. Another verse says, "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." (NIV) John 7:24 There is one common denominator here and that is that we judge only with righteous judgment. I think that this "don't judge" thing is a scape goat for women who do not want to offend others. These are women who are afraid to make a stand that homosexuality, gossipping, obsessive shopping, being attached to Oprah's shows, drunkenness, boastfullness, worldliness and etc. are wrong! They simply just don't want to make a stand because their reputation is at stake. Tolerance to sin has been increasingly permeated into the Christian community because of this don't-judge thing. It is sad!

When we seek to please others, we are focus on ourselves which is also called selfcenteredness. But when we seek to please God, we are focus on Him. Whose pleasure do we want to have, of God or of man? Pleasing God brings blessings. Pleasing man brings frustrations. Who are you seeking to please now?

Falling in Love with Hannah

2008-09-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

I have been going through Beth Moore's 90 days study on David. This past couple weeks, I was reading the back story of David's life, way back to the story of the prophet who anointed him king. The story of Samuel. And the story of his mother, Hannah, who was known to be a drunkard.

Hannah wasn't a boozehound for no reason! In fact, she had all the right to be feeling so depressed to seek the comfort of alcohol (as if there is such a thing as that!). She was married to a preposterous man who thought he could be one with the two women he married. She was childless, which was one of the most disgraceful situations a woman in the middle east faced during that time. She was rediculed by her husband's number 2 wife for being barren. And the worst of it all, her husband was completely clueless of what she was going through.

Elkanah was a fool. For one, he married two women and thought it would be great. But who in the world can be "one flesh" with two persons?! When God saw that Adam was lonely, He made him Eve. He didn't make Eve and Sue. One husband for one wife. That's God's original design. More than one wife is way too crowded you can't breathe. One of the questions that I had a hard time answering before was, "Why did most of the Old Testament men marry more than one wife?" Well, God never intended them to marry more than one wife. Out of their hardheadiness they did what was not right before God. And because of that, they suffered. Hannah's hubby was caught in the middle of this turmoil- having a drunk wife and another wife who was very mean. Sadly enough, he didn't have an idea that it was his own doing that created this turmoil. In fact, he thought he was stopendous and that Hannah was some kind of a spoiled brat having tantrums for not having what she wanted. When he said, "Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?" He showed how half-witted he was. His sarcasm was not helping the situation to get better. Mocking his wife's grief was the most foolish thing a man could ever do to his wife. He had no idea how depressing it was for Hannah to be the center of redicule. He didn't know the loneliness a childless woman feels. He didn't know the feeling of being abandoned by God after praying for a very important thing for a long time.

Hannah finally found a great solution to end all of her troubles. Seek God. Pray like never before. Surrender to Him. Make an unbreakable vow! A vow that she fulfilled without a heavy heart. A vow that is regarded as stupidity in today's culture but might not be so in their time. A vow to give her child, if God would grant her prayer to have one, to serve Him all his life. This vow must have touched the heart of God. Or maybe it was the attitude of surrender in her heart toward God that made God grant her desire. God saw her heart and was pleased. Very pleased. Hannah had conceived a baby boy and she was praising God for the great blessing! Her neighbors and Elkanah's number 2 stopped picking on her. They began to dance with her except, maybe, for her husband's other wife. When she had baby Samuel, she devoted herself in nurturing him- nursing him for three years. That three years were so special for her. Because she knew that she had to give him to the temple, leaving him under the care of Eli when he was weaned. Three years of deep joy! Three years of feeling so complete! Three very short years of enjoying the sweet bond between a mother and a baby. Three years of teaching the baby to listen and respond when his name is called. Three years of teaching him to love God. That three years time flew so fast. It was time for her to bring him to the temple and leave him there.

I can't imagine how lonely she must have been while walking home from the temple. It must have been only by the grace of God that she was able to make it home. She fulfilled her vow to God even when it required her to be separated from her beloved son. With her separation anxiety came an unexplainable joy knowing that she was able to fulfill her vow. Like David, she must have said this also, "I will not offer anything that costs me nothing." It was the right thing for her to do. For granting her desire, an unprecedented love for God had grown in her heart. A child was everything for her but she knew that she didn't own him. God did.

Our children are given by God to us to love and nurture. Ultimately, they are His. As parents, we are His stewards. How we treat our children is a stewardship. One vital role we play is to form their hearts and minds into knowing that they are loved by our Heavenly Father and are accountable as to how they live and have their being to God. They need to understand this very truth before other people teach them to be godless.

Loving Ourselves

2008-08-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

In her book, "Lies Women Believe...", Nancy Leigh De Moss addressed one of the lies that women today have been believing. She said that the world's prescription for those who are tortured by a sense of worthlessness is, "You need to love yourself." And that when Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, the point is not that we need to love ourselves so that we can love others. Jesus is saying we need to give others the same attention and care we naturally give ourselves.

Is not this true? I know I don't need to love myself more than I already do, for if I do, I would surely become so engrossed with myself. Eventually, I would grow into some sort of a power puff girl thinking that I am the center of the universe and everything in it and that I have the power to control people and circumstances. "I need to love myself" is a common line that we hear from people who have lost their sense of pride due to giving so much of themselves in order to manipulate and control others.

I agree with Nancy when she said that if we get a toothache, we immediately look for a way to identify the problem and get rid of it. If we did not love ourselves, we would ignore the pain. But when someone else has a toothache, it is easy to be indifferent to his need- that's his problem. We naturally love ourselves; we do not naturally love others.

It's a Comma not a Period!

2008-07-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite verses is Psalm 30:5, which says, "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." I'm glad that I have memorized this verse many years ago. It has really helped me get through tough circumstances in my life trusting Jesus for a victory. I wanted to impose memorizing this verse to women who imprison themselves in hopelessness and despair. Those who think that the troubles they are in right now would never end. Regardless of how serious a problem they are battling at present- infidelity of a husband, memories of child abuse and physical affliction, every thing is a comma and not a period here on earth. We cannot let our circumstances drown us into the ocean of depression. What can hopelessness do to us but to make us ugly! Trust the Lord to bring you through your circumstances victoriously and make a beautiful woman in you.

A Victim of Circumstances?

2008-07-25T14:31:00.000-07:00

While attending one of the parties that my Filipino group organized 6 months ago, I met another young Filipino lady who is also married to an American guy. We seemed to click with each other after our first conversation. Maybe because she professed to be a Christian. She and her husband started visiting us in our house. We would just eat, talk and have fun. As time went by, I began to notice the negative tone in her language. She would bad-mouth some of the people that I know in our Filipino group. It progressed to speaking ill about her own siblings- of how she was mistreated by all of them. She would use the most disgusting word to describe her very bad idea of these people. She would also complain just about anything- how she felt like being overworked in her job, her unplanned pregnancy, having a very irresponsible step-son and the list can go on. She blamed all these circumstances for her all-time depressed mood. Until one day, I couldn't take it anymore. I literally told her to stop! We had an emotional conversation and I thought I lost her for good. We didn't talk for a couple months. Recently, we bumped into each other at a common friend's house. She hugged me. She smiled. Her aura has drastically changed. I saw happiness painted on her eyes. She said, "thank you for being my friend."

Many women today think that if their circumstances were different, they would be different. They feel that if their upbringing, their environment, the people around them were different, they would be more patient, more loving, more content and easier to live with. But this is not true. If it is, then we are victims. If we are victims, then we are not responsible- we can't help the way we are. But we are responsible! Responsible for our own responses to the circumstances. The truth is our circumstances do not make us what we are. They merely reveal what we are. Thank God for giving us these circumstances for by them we will know how we need to be changed by His grace.

Extremely Busy!

2008-07-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

I've read that the average woman today has the equivalent of fifty full-time servants, in the modern, time saving devices and equipment. Isn't that amazing? I tried picturing myself back to the days when there were no washing machines, dryers, microwaves, vacuum cleaners and dishwashers. I simply couldn't imagine myself in it. I am more thankful to God that I live in this generation. But that's not really what I want to point out here. What I've been thinking is how many women of today could say that they don't have time to do everything they're supposed to do. Statements like "I'm so busy!", "We've got so much going on in our family!", "I just can't keep up with everything I've got to do!" and "I'm exhausted!" are disturbing to me. It seems like women try to do every thing under the sun. Part of the reason why a lot of women do this is to fit in today's crazy culture. The world today salutes women who do so many things including those that are inherent to men. Well, I don't buy it. I don't want to be so stressed out and eventually resort to depression pills. I want to be happy in the Lord! Here's how... follow Jesus' example. John 17:4 says, "I have glorified thee on earth; I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do..." There you go I am not going to follow the world's "to do" list for me. I simply cannot meet with every person who wants an appointment, call every person who wants to talk, counsel with every person who had a need, tackle every project that people think I would be good at, read all the books I'd like to read, do scrap-booking because it's hip among ladies, blog unnecessarily, party like there's no tomorrow, spend the kind of time I'd like to spend with my friends and keep every room in my house presentable for guests who drop in. It's just not physically possible for me. My goal is to have time only to do everything that is on God's "to do" list for me in a certain period of time. And right now it is loving and serving my husband and raising a godly daughter.

Helper

2008-07-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

I wrote about role reversal yesterday and I thought I would do a follow-up of it today. You know how we, wives, sometimes if not most of the time, think that our husbands should help us with the chores at home. We feel like our husbands have an equal obligation as we have in doing the household chores. In the same way, we feel that we have an equal obligation in meeting the financial needs of our families. So much equality issue has been placed between a man and a woman over the years . Feminism has been the source of this confusion.

God made the woman for the main purpose of providing the man a helper. Not the other way around. It is definitely not wrong for a husband to help at home but he is not obligated to do so. In the same way, the wife is not obligated to help with bringing in money to their home. Troubles come when they confuse these roles. The result, homes are producing emasculated husbands and super busy moms. Who suffers? Everybody! Especially the kids, who end up raised by baby sitters instead of their own mothers.

Role Reversal

2008-06-30T14:26:00.000-07:00

I was in somebody's home recently and was intrigued by what I saw. The sight of a husband busying himself with the dishes and cleaning the kitchen and of a wife enjoying herself playing with their kids in the backyard. Role reversal?

Role reversal originated in the Garden of Eden when the father of all lies came to Mrs. Eve one day. She decided she would have a little talk with him. Later, he talked her into eating the forbidden fruit. The next thing we know she also gave the fruit to Mr. Adam, her husband, for a bite, who did NOTHING but followed his wife. The wife leading her husband! The husband who submitted himself to his wife! Role Reversal.

Divorce: Not an Option

2008-06-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

"50% of all marriages in the America end in divorce."

The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage
50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.”

What a distasteful fact! Another statistics fact shows that divorces among professing born-again Christians is 30% of the whole divorce rate in the country. This fact makes it even sickening!

It is so sad that many women today think that divorce is a better option than staying in a bad marriage. What a deception! Apparently, these women do not acknowledge that there is no marriage God cannot heal and that there is no person God cannot change.

How easy for many women to put all the blame on their husbands when they feel discontented in their marriages. But even if much of the blame falls on the husband, women have to understand that they are not perfect either. Wives are also sinners, equally needing the grace of God.

Forgiveness is the only way to receive God's best! God has commanded us to forgive without limit. A wife's willingness to extend sacrificial love to her mate may be the means of his spiritual healing.

Nancy Leigh Demoss said in her book, "Lies Women believe..." "The enemy has made amess and a mockery out of marriage. His lies have resulted in countless fractured lives and homes. ONly the Truth has power to redeem, restore and renew."

The Lesson I've Learned

2008-06-25T14:03:00.000-07:00

Long before our vacation to the East Coast, I had been looking forward to the fresh seafood available in the area. You see, I grew up just about a hundred feet away from the sea shore. Everyday, we had fish, otherwise, shrimp, crab, squid and literally all kinds of seafood you could name. A vacation to the East Coast was a perfect place for me. I planned to eat grilled fresh Tuna at least one meal per day while we were there. I felt so excited by the thought of it.

When we got there, things didn't turn out as I expected. I don't need to go on with the details. But yes, I was disappointed. I even acted like a perfect spoiled brat. For the last couple meals, I refused to feed myself with the food that was available. For doing that, I didn't only punish myself but also my nursing daughter and my husband who was so puzzled what went wrong. Deep in my mind, I was actually blaming my husband for not bringing us to the restaurant where I wanted to eat at. With that in mind, I started showing some really strange behavior. The thought that it was my husband's fault just kept coming and magnifying itself in my brain. Until I blew it off by verbalizing my disappointment. I totally sounded like some very frustrated, discontented and crazy fellow.

Yes, I acted foolishly. Oh, how easy for us women to see our husband's faults through a microscope and see our own faults through a telescope. Realizing this, I didn't waste time. I came to the Lord and repented of my sin. I also asked my husband to forgive me. Praise God I have a very loving and forgiving husband.

The Bride

2008-06-09T14:02:00.000-07:00

Every girl has one grand dream and that is to someday become the most beautiful princess bride. Of who? Of the most handsome prince. As for me, it is a DREAM-COME-TRUE!

When I reached the age that most women get married, honestly, I started getting anxious. Questions like, "Will I be married to the man of my dreams?" But I didn't let that question manipulate me in such a way that I would make choices that jeopardize the coming true of my dream. Instead, I waited and waited and waited. Waiting is not fun, but it definitely is very rewarding. I didn't only waited, I also saved myself for the man God would send my way. I admit that along the way, I met several men that I thought would be my prince. But things with each of them were commonplace. Nothing special. Nothing grand. And something was wrong. I'd already convinced myself that when my prince would come, it would be perfectly beautiful. And that I would know that the time had come! I waited so many years for my prince to come. When he finally came, all the pains, worries and fears disappeared.

In the same way, the Church of Christ is eagerly anticipating for the coming of her Prince Bridegroom- the Lord Jesus Christ. As we wait for that glorious day- the marriage of the Lamb of God to us- His elect, we must save ourselves for Him alone. Let us not become deceived by those who come our way claiming to be Christ. "For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many." Matthew 24:5

Discipleship

2008-06-05T13:47:00.000-07:00

"All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen. (Matthew 28:18-20)

There is a great need to realize that the verse above is not only spoken for a chosen few but for every Christian. We are all called to evangelize! All called to disciple!

One of the things that hinder us to disciple others is that we are not being discipled ourselves. We definitely not able to disciple others unless we are. It feels nice to say that we are mentoring others but it doesn't feel the same the other way around. Why is that? Simple! We like to feel important. We like the emotion that we are being looked up to and run to by those who are a little behind of us. But, in no way that this should be the driving force that thrusts us to reach out and disciple others. The only motivation should only be that we are simply obeying the Great Commission.

To be discipled is not as easy as it seems. It is only by the grace of God that we can allow others to speak to our lives according to the Word of God. By inviting godly people to mentor us, we are also inviting assault to our selfishness. Good disciplers don't only encourage us but they also rebuke, correct and teach us. We do not need people who affirm and flatter us all the time. We need mentors who help straighten our crooked paths by God's Word.

Contentment

2008-05-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

Our culture has been producing spoiled brats! Children as young as 7 years old have ipods. Even babies rooms are stuffed with unnecessary collections of toys. Christmas and Birthday wish lists are all about toys and clothes! Mothers stuff their kitchen with so many different kinds of small appliances. Master bedrooms must have walk-in closets to accommodate the owners' wardrobe accumulation. Morning newspapers must have catalogs of just about anything you could buy to add to your already full house! But hey, summer is coming and it's time for garage sales! You can sell what you have that you don't want and buy your neighbor's pair of shoes or electric beater.

So much discontentment in this world! It's sickening!

With the demise of manners in our current culture has also gone the loss of gratitude and contentment. I desire to teach my daughter to be grateful for what the Lord has given her, to be content for what she has and to understand that happiness is in living in simplicity. I think the creative and quickest way for her to learn the value of gratefulness and contentment is to let her experience a life away from a place where she could have anything she wants and see how the children across the world could smile and laugh and be happy with so little or nothing at all.

Run from Oprah, Run for your Life!

2008-05-06T14:01:00.000-07:00

I first heard of Oprah Winfrey, as the most well-paid lady TV host in the world, when I was in college. I was pretty intrigued about her that I even started watching her shows once in a while. She didn't appear to be special. She didn't even appear to me as worth watching. So, really, I wasn't hooked on her shows. It's true that she has helped so many people's lives by giving away money, but so what? There are so many philanthropy figures in the world. She is no different than those who are giving away a little portion of their fortune to those who are living in dire straits. In other words, I've never admired her. But very sadly, so many of the women in America really admire her and made her an important icon in their lives. I even know of some professing Christians who are watching her shows regularly. But God is a good God all the time. He exposes her evil deeds and influence on people. If you are one of them who admire her, watch this video and know what kind of a person you are letting yourself to be influenced by.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW4LLwkgmqA&eurl=http://www.ericbarger.com/

Clearly, she denies Jesus as the only way. And by her ignorance of the Word, she said that God is jealous of her. Jealous of her???!!! Is she kidding me??? Well, that's what happen when people don't read and study the Bible! Let us pray for her salvation! But let's run from her influence! Let us not allow the garbage of the New Age religion that she is promoting and teaching to have a place in our lives and in our children's lives.

Special Women

2008-03-20T15:38:00.001-07:00

God places women in our lives for a significant purpose. He uses some of them to mentor us; others, for us to mentor; and still others, to share fun and adventures in life with.

Lisa, my maid of honor and my daughter's godmother!

I met LISA DEVOT a few years ago in my hometown in the Philippines. I had the opportunity to work as her interpreter. I've always admired her strong and yet sweet personality and I've also admired her excellent speaking skills and her beautiful heart and mind. We don't talk often but we know that we are always there for each other.

I met Tricia Vogelsang at our new church a few months ago. She's the first lady who I've had the opportunity to be close to at church. She is a mother of 3 and has just graduated from college with a degree in Family Psychology. She is a very godly woman and has shown so much spiritual maturity. It's been great having her as a friend. She is the first person I think and go to when I just want to talk and listen to a woman of godly wisdom and contagious joy. Her sense of humor is refreshing!

From left to right: Lorelei, Maricris, Me and Mitchelle

These are three of the Pinays (Filipino ladies) who the Lord has placed in my life to love and inspire at present. All four of us are married to handsome American men. Being that I am the "Ate" in this group, I feel like God has given me a mission to build their faith and trust in Him and to be a channel of His care to them. In my journey with them, so far, I've learned the true meaning of loving unconditionally and unselfishly. I've learned that when you are out there building other people's lives, you need to be stripped off of your right to be offended. Otherwise, you would give up building them up and start tearing them down. I've started to be concern about them and stopped expecting that they would be concern of me. Pure love. That's what it's called. When I pray for them, I find myself praying earnestly.

I met Maricris when my husband and I went to a Birthing and Parenting Preparation class. Both of us were 8 months pregnant. She caught my attention because she was the only Asian-looking lady in our class besides me. I thought she was from Singapore. But I took a chance to ask her and found out that she was also Filipino. Cris is one of the smartest Pinays I've met. Her life story is phenomenal. I've been praying for her since the time I first met her. Something drew me to her. I didn't realize it was a God-thing. For a year, I always felt like she was hiding burdens behind her laughter. There were times that I thought that we would never pass through superficial friendship and that we would always have shallow conversations. Until one day... She was excitedly announcing to me that her son would have his one-year-old son would have his first Halloween costume. Immediately, I felt like I was being pushed to say that I would never allow my one-year-old baby to partake in any activities organized by the witches. And I went on preaching and confronting sins around us in this culture we are in. Then we got really personal to point of digging in of the issues in her life that she has been battling with and has been trying to win. I became bolder and bolder with love and by the grace of God. She ended up pouring out her burdens away. That was the beginning of our journey together as I help her grow in the Lord.

Anne K., a veteran missionary, is one of the women who God has blessed my life with. I would never forget how she inspired my life to cultivate a passion to love and serve the Lord. She showed me how to totally abandon my life into the hands of the Father. She told me that she was sent to Mongolia just to make my life in a foreign country stress-free and "the time of my life". She mentored me how to start a house church and evangelize and disciple the Mongolians. She showed me how to live a life of generosity and to truly have a heart for the poor. She was my best Bible teacher. Anne K. will always be a great inspiration to me.

Ganaa was one of my employers back in Mongolia. She taught me how to live like a Mongolian lady. She never treated me like I was just one of her employees. She showed me a motherly love- Mongolian-style. She wasn't a perfect lady I've known being that she only believed in Jesus Christ after I shared my faith with her, but she left an important mark in my heart by loving me sincerely and helping provide for my needs.

Catherine Basnig, Tiyeen as I fondly called her, was loved and is loved and never forgotten! I was a fresh graduate from College when God had a special tag in my heart to pray for her. I got to know her through my sister and later was formally introduced to me by my brother, who was courting her that time. She was one with a strong personality. Somehow, I felt drawn to her. I started investigating about her and gathered quite a bit of information enough for me know her. She was smart but really was not in a hurry to finish college so to speak. She hung around bad company. I was so intrigued by her life and decided to fast and pray for her salvation. After three days of fasting and praying, I went to see her at the college campus. I told her I wanted to talk to her privately. She was a little surprised. We went to the east side of the sports grandstand, sat and talked. The sunset was dramatic. When I started to ask about her family, she started crying and pouring her heart out. To comfort her, I said that earthly fathers fail but we have a perfect Father in heaven who never fails us. The times we spent after that evening were times of deepening our knowledge of this Father who never leaves us nor forsake us. Her life and desires were never the same. My life was never the same- I got the closest friend ever. A friend I grew up loving and serving God together!

More Than a Pretty Face

2008-03-13T13:18:00.000-07:00

A woman's countenance, most of the time, mirrors the condition of her heart. Our actions and attitudes are an indication where our roots are planted. When our hearts are rooted in the love, peace and joy of Christ, our outward countenance radiates strength, joy, love and deep sense of well-being. Along these beautiful attitudes, our facial features also tend to soften and skin lines become tempered. No amount of make-up, perfume, professional styling, high fashion, or personal fitness program can create this kind of beauty. And no beautification regimen or stylish clothes or social graces training can mask an unattractive heart- a heart that is full of envy and jealousy, discontentment in life, controlling spirit, worldliness, materialism, selfishness, bitterness and all kinds of negative spirits.

For a godly woman a simple routine of good hygiene, healthy skin care and appropriate attire, gracious manners is enough. Most importantly, having our hearts filled with the Holy Spirit empowers us with vitality and enthusiasm, making us a magnet to other people. Our only goal is to attract others to our lives and ultimately have an opportunity to share our testimony of the Christ who dwells within us.

My favorite speaker

2008-02-26T21:09:00.000-08:00

Here is the link to the website of one of my favorite speakers, Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I listen to her everyday. She really is an exemplary speaker. I also read her books. They are excellent!

http://www.reviveourhearts.com

Terrible song!

2008-02-26T13:27:00.000-08:00

Have you ever hated a particular song? You hated it so much that it itches your skin! I have. Here is the first stanza...

I am woman, hear me roar In numbers too big to ignore And I know too much to go back an' pretend 'Cause I've heard it all before And I've been down there on the floor No one's ever gonna keep me down again.

Roaring woman! What a terrible description of a woman. There are so many women today who have a lifestyle of roaring. They cry their "own way" out loud. They want everybody to tiptoe around them and grant whatever they want. Some ladies don't roar loud. But it doesn't mean they aren't roaring! Roaring women get depressed a lot. Why? The answer is simple, the more we desire to control the more frustrated we will get. It is not about us. It is not about what we want. But it is all about God and what He wants to accomplish in and through our lives.

Here is a song that every woman must love to hear and sing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD-ZdMOx_HY&feature=related

The Fear of the Lord

2008-02-25T09:54:00.001-08:00

Our pastor preached about the fear of the Lord yesterday. He talked about how Aaron's sons were consumed by the fire of the Lord causing their deaths when they acted irreverently toward Him. This morning, I was reading the first 10 chapters of 1 Chronicles. I came across the verses that mention about how Uzza was struck by God to death when he acted in a way that did not show reverence of His presence. This makes me think about one of God's characters, being a JUST GOD. I was wondering why so many people today show no reverence of God's presence. Obviously, they do not have the Fear of the Lord. I've been noticing that the subject on fearing the Lord has been intentionally left out. Preachers do not even want to preach about it in their churches, saying that they do not want people to be walking a Christian life in fear. But if Jesus Himself preached about hell and the coming judgment more than a hundred times, why can't we talk about it? We all need to know and remember that God is a JUST God. He is a righteous Judge! A righteous judge would never let the guilty go unpunished. This truth should create in us "the fear of the Lord". This kind of fear helps us to get rid of every unholy activity we are engaging in our lives by the help of the Holy Spirit. This kind of fear ushers us to love the Lord our God with everything we are and everything we have. This kind of fear is the defining character that places a woman in an honor that surpasses the attractive reputation of other noble women.

Noble Woman

2008-02-22T19:27:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 31:29 says "Many women do noble things, but you excel them all." I was thinking about what makes the woman in Proverbs 31 surpass other noble women. Both are noble. Both have physical stamina and hardworking. Both are attractive. Both contribute to the financial wellness of their households. Both have "beauty and brains". The following verse (verse 30) discloses the line that clearly separates the two. "Charm is deceitful, beauty is vain, but a woman who FEARS THE LORD, she is to be praised." What makes a noble woman excel other noble women? She fears the Lord. She has an exceptional wisdom! Proverbs 1:7 says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of WISDOM, but fools despise wisdom and instruction."

2008-02-21T19:50:00.000-08:00

Becoming a woman that God designed me to be

2008-02-21T06:36:00.000-08:00

I've been working on becoming a woman that God wants me to be. I am a firm believer that every woman is created with a reflection of God's beauty. Wherever I am today- spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally- deep inside me, there is this "God's standard of beauty" that is waiting for a breakthrough. I've been thinking a lot about how the God pictures a beautiful woman. I've seen and known a lot of women who are very obsessed with beauty. They think perfect make-up, fashionable clothes, pretty sandals, very thin bodies and etc. make them beautiful. Usually, women of this category are attractive until they open their mouth to speak. For all they could say is shopping, fashion and comparing themselves with other women and nothing deep. On the other hand, I've also seen and known women who just don't care about their appearance. Some just gave up on the idea that they could become beautiful regardless of what they look like now. Some are just lazy to take care of their bodies. They hide their insecurities by appearing to be knowledgeable, thoughtful of others and funny. They say, appearance doesn't matter, being moral is. Others define a beautiful woman in three words, "beauty and brain". But how do I define a beautiful woman? I admit that I am still in the process of trying to define it according to God's perspective. But here is what I came up so far... a beautiful woman is a one who was redeemed by the blood of Jesus through her repentance of her fallen nature or sinfulness. Whose heart is filled with a passion for godliness and a deep desire to obey the Lord whatever it costs her. Make-up, fashion, being moral, being knowledgeable, academic achievement (high education, as they put it), hard work and etc., they are not necessarily bad but an obsessive desire for them, taking pride in them and without a heart that is redeemed by the Lord Jesus- a spiritual regeneration, is a description of an "ugly woman".